aiya eärendil elenion ancalima!

there are so many bots following me

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

The first rule of sewing is you can fix anything if you have patience, creativity, and a little bit of extra fabric! The second rule of sewing is AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

you should not be allowed to play carry on my wayward son on other tv shows

last week I was deep in the trenches ploughing through work and mid-afternoon realised I'd neglected to open the blinds and the room was a little dim, so I got up to do that and discovered that a car had flipped onto its roof directly outside my flat and the entire street was closed and flooded with emergency service while they dragged someone out of the vehicle and packed them into an ambulance. so now every time I open the blinds I'm a little like the dog with the ham sandwich bush. what the fuck could it be today.

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

True crime girlies will be like "wtf I would never go for a walk at night, what if the hash slinging slasher gets me" and then use their knees to merge with no turn signal in front of a semi while applying makeup with both hands

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

A common theme in science fiction is that if you're in space, don't trust a corporation. And Earth is in space

Thats the context for this meme???

I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.

I'm dying