😐

SNAILS KISSING

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

@copperbadge this seems up your alley

Who dare disturbs Dog of Randall the jeweller

sending someone a business email that says hello i’ve been writing a story about a guy getting abused and assaulted and humiliated and degraded and i was thinking about you the whole time. and the recipient of that email being like awesome. i want you to do it with your bare hands

they don't tell you this but if ur really lonely for a long time, a hole starts forming in ur heart and the longer u feel lonely the bigger the hole gets and it doesn't matter if u feel less lonely when ur older bc the hole stays forever and ur life just grows around it. But the hole is always there.