Thinking Too Much

FUN FACT:

So you know how the Wilhelm Scream is in a ton of films as a soundtrack in-joke? It was popularized by Ben Burtt, who was a sound editor on a ton of ton of Lucas films, like all the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films.

Bounty on your head… Wanted deleted or remade…

Goodmorning to the Anthropic Claude AI training scraper that suddenly decided to request 660 thousand pages (exactly the number I had remaining on the starter plan) and brought Pikiwedia down. 

Sudden switch from diverse user agents like chrome, safari, messenger preview to Just Claudebot. I'm not even mad though, this is maybe the funniest thing possible, because I've inadvertently poisoned their training data with thousands of fucked up articles with normal urls. 

remember to unclench your jaw

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

I mean, the prospect of a cool beverage is -

"... Thinking in terms of male and female, which of the two Cinzano ice cubes would be female? ... Now ask, what is going on between this female and male set of ice cubes?"

?????????

"... much credit must be given to the American advertising industry for its success in creating a sexual affair between two pieces of ice as a subliminal device with which to merchandise a liqueur."

This is the Sprite ad:

Do you see the subliminal seduction? Do you see it?

Relax again and look deeply into the almost hypnotic organization of bubbles surrounding the lime slice. Something rather strange is going on in the bubbles. The ear, an orifice of the human body, suggests that the effervescence rising from the glass may have aphrodisiac qualities, at least at the symbolic level, especially with the two-balled earring with one ball hanging lower than the other. Something highly symbolic is, indeed, going on in the bubbles above the lime slice. Before reading further, try to psych out the ice cubes in the glass. What is Sprite trying to tell you? The right side of the ice cube above the lime slice forms the back of an animal—a large shaggy dog with a pointed nose, or quite possibly a polar bear. The animal’s legs are extended outward to the left, parallel with the top of the lime. The animal’s arms (or legs, as you will) appear to be holding another figure which is human with long, feminine hair. Her face is located just above the animal’s head. The two figures, animal and human, are in what can only be described as a sexual intercourse position. The polar bear, dog, or whatever, is in sexual embrace with a nude woman.

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt