Thinking Too Much

@unfavorableinstigation

DRIFT'S ITALIAN SANDWICH

Alright so you're gonna take a big ass piece of chewy, soft italian bread, and you're gonna cut it hot dog style and put it in your pan to toast the insides. Then you're gonna slice up half a white onion (seriously do NOT skimp on the onion) and lightly sautee it in the pan whilst the bread is toasting.

When the inside is all nice and warm, you're gonna take sliced turkey, and sliced SANDWICH pepperoni (istg do not use the small shitty pizza pepperoni if you can help it), a slice of provolone, and your ongions, and put it all together to toast in the pan. be sure to squish that mofo down so it becomes paninilike.

Whilst the sammich is warmin and toastin you're slicing up a small tomato and rinsing off some leafy greens. Once she's warm all the way through you're gonna take off the sandwich top and spread some mayo on it and shake a lotta oregano and some crushed red pepper into the mayo.

Add the tomato and the greens, replace the top, and squish together again and eat like a caveman >:)

Ingredience in list form:

THE PERSEID METEOR SHOWER (the best meteor shower) COINCIDES WITH A NEW MOON THIS YEAR (only happens every ~15 years), WHICH MEANS PERFECTLY DARK SKIES!!!!!!!

IT PEAKS ON AUGUST 12TH, START PLANNING YOUR CAMPING TRIPS TO AREAS WITH DARK SKIES NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

It is really not all that hard to get away with murder. A basic amount of foresight and prep will get rid of enough evidence that the police either won't find the killer or will be unable to make the charge stick.

Despite this, most murders do get solved, because someone who decides that murder is the solution to their problems is probably not the kind of person to be levelheaded and careful enough to avoid getting caught.

I think something very similar is true of sockpuppet accounts. It's not that hard to make a convincing sockpuppet. However, people almost always make sockpuppets as a way of defending their egos, of making it look like they have more support than they actually do. And this passionate defense of someone the sockpuppet ostensibly doesn't know and has no reason to care about is a dead giveaway. So if you want to validate a sockpuppet you have to lose an argument to it. You have to get owned. Once it makes you look like an idiot, basically no one will ever suspect it again.

I HEAR THE BLUES A-KILLIN' (or: Frasier Meets Columbo)