Rebellum

You want to study abroad? Show us proof that there is a quadrillion dollars in your bank account. Oh, an average monthly salary in your country is $400 and you plan to work when you arrive? You can't do that, silly, a student visa only allows you to work 2 hours every third Wednesday, and if we find out that you're working a second more we will deport you.

You want to work abroad? Better be a programmer, then of course you are welcome. Doctor, scientist, white-collar or, god forbid, blue-collar worker? You can fuck right off, your visa application goes straght into trash.

You will have to prove that you can afford a guest, have some income and also usually take responsibility for possible deportation cost.

But if you really are inviting a friend over, they will give you a formal document you can send to your friend. Then the friend applies for a visa while attaching the Very Official document with it. They will get the Schengen visa and most probably will get it expedited too.

If you ask the average uninitiated suburban voter, they'll express a level of fear when it comes to motorcycles. Oh no, they claim, those things will kill you instantly thirty million ways and they'll never find all of your body. That's not particularly relevant to me, mostly because I routinely drive cars with even less safety equipment than your average motorcycle. What is a concern? The lack of a trunk.

Friends, the trunk is one of the greatest inventions of all of humankind. To be able to put your shit in a box, lock it, and bring that shit with you across your travels? Delightful. Although many "touring" motorcycles have little boxes in which you can place your underwear, sidearms, and next-of-kin identification, space is still quite limited. You can't do what I do, which is leave a bunch of crap in the trunk that you're too lazy to bring into your house. Look back there. Yeah, that's a Commodore 128. It's the deluxe model. Won't even fit on a Goldwing.

To my surprise, when I brought this up to my biker-gang friends, I was rebuffed. Not only do larger touring bags exist, but certain ridiculous individuals have even developed a little trailer that you can tow behind your motorcycle. It's teeny-weeny, sure, but certainly bigger than the trunk in, say, a Fiat 500. And that's before we even get to sidecars.

i immediately began wailing and my siblings were themselves in uproar. the guy was mortified. i guess if you crawl around in cellar furnaces for a living, stomping spiders might become deeply instinctual to you. but i think he might have began to second-guess himself after that.