Imagine hating me and I'm just rùisgte anns a' cheò???

not now honey, mommy’s yearning for something that once was and will never be again

leaving a bad review of The Art of War on Amazon so my enemies don't buy it

IPOD

my grandfather was talking to me about a book he read on how politicians gave control to rich people and it fucked america and he was like "oh yeah this reminded me of a video I watched. It was Robert Reich. Do you know who Robert Reich is? He was clinton's secretary of labor" and I just nodded silently because I didn't know how to explain to my grandpa that yes I know who Robert Reich is. I watch his son psychologically torment improv comedians

"but the text never explicitly stated it!!!" hey, so that's actually what they tried to teach you in those english classes you barely passed 😁

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

Throwback to the time my little sister asked me how literally everything was invented

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

Hot take but I think abled people shouldn't be allowed to decide what a disabled person needs and what are reasonable accommodations