we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.
I was in a park once and saw this marvellous woman carrying a briefcase and wearing a very proper suit and skirt (she looked like a lawyer) on the swings. She told me that every day on her way home from work, she stops and swings for ten minutes, and this is secret to how she stays happy and unstressed.
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Anyway, where was I? Right! Birds have been talking for centuries, and there have been lots of stories about their uncanny mimicking of human speech, most of them likely apocryphal. A lot of the stories are about corvids! And corvids are awesome!
Did you know that you can use talking birds to suck up to emperors? This little story comes to us from the Saturnalia of Macrobius.
In it we are told that Augustus, upon returning victorious from Actium, was greeted by a man with a raven who proclaimed āHail Caesar, victorious emperor!ā Amused by this talking bird, Augustus paid the man 20,000 sesterces for it.
However!
Turns out the ravenās handler had a partner in crime who did not get a share of the profits. So, in the hopes of getting him in trouble, he went to the emperor and insinuated that the man had another bird. The second raven was duly brought before Caesar, and ā shock horror ā the bird started cawing āHail Antony, victorious emperor!ā
But instead of being offended, Augustus saw the comedy in there being two ravens to cover all potential outcomes of the battle. The men were told to share and the case was dismissed.
But thatās not all!
After Augustus bought a parrot and a magpie that also sang his praises, it became a potentially lucrative scheme. One cobbler tried to get a raven to do the same, but kept failing. āAll my work and time for nothingā, he grumbled. Eventually though, he finally got the raven to speak a suitably grand greeting.
But Augustus was not interested. āI get enough of those at homeā, he said, preparing to dismiss the cobbler. Only for the raven to loudly announce āAll my work and time for nothing!ā
Of course, Augustus bought it for more than any of the other birds.
References
Macrobius; Davies, P. V. trans. (1969). The Saturnalia. Columbia University Press.
Macrobius; Willis, J. ed. (1970) Macrobius, v. I. B. G. Teubner.
You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.
I am so serious about the way people are taught to view themselves as separate from and above any other animal being the root cause of a lot of problems. You're not better than a beast.
This post has really made the rounds so I have to say - this mentality changed me overnight. I had this realization that all of the fumbling over self love I did for years just needed... this. Once I internalized that I'm just a creature, it got so much easier to take care of myself.
I've started treating myself like I would a dog that's going to chew through the house when it's bored. I walk myself. I seek activities that make my brain feel less like depressed sludge. I ask my body what it needs; I rest, I enjoy rest. I don't see it as a waste or unproductive. I see it as allowing my body to do its job of working better. I lean into appreciating my natural features. I'm a hunk of flesh. I can be ugly. I can decide that ugly is appealing. I can not care. Whatever. I started emphasizing little things that nourish my relationship(s), shelving distractions more, so I can relish the time I have with loved ones. I specifically pursue pleasure--dopamine--not just quick hits from scrolling social media but getting off my ass. Engaging. Cooking myself nice meals and making fucking art, man. Things that make my spirit feel more alive than I have for years. I ask myself what it is I want rather than only doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And it doesn't mean shirk every responsibility, it means recognizing you're one of your fucking responsibilities. It's reordering. I realized I'm going to die happy or unhappy and either way I'm just as dead in a given amount of years, and I choose to die happy and fulfilled.
/pic id: bluesky post from Kingfisher & Wombat @tkingfisher
"If you want to believe it, check it twice
::clap clap::
"If you want to believe it, check it twice
::clap clap::
Doesn't matter if it's awful
Doesn't matter if it's nice
"If you want to believe it, check it twice
::clap clap::"
appended to the post from High Priestess, Low Patience user Cheriepriest.com
If the rage-bait works too well it might be fake
::clap clap::
If the rage-bait works too well it might be fake
::clap clap::
Look we've all been fooled before
when a deep-fake makes us sore
but kindly doublecheck your source, it might be fake
::clap clap::
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Text: We used to talk through the wells, a whisper carrying to every farm that had one. There is no one left to send well whispers, and yet I hear one, on a dark, gray afternoon.
Warning: Blood, self harm, human and animal death, horror themes, discussion of new magical systems.
Note: this started out as a simple creepy story and then the world-building just overflowed.
#
Whispers used to pass from farm to farm, messages that crossed miles, an old magic that no-one understood anymore. Raising the ghost trees requires space, untouched earth, and height. Our farms are hundreds of miles apart, each high on its own mountain. The wells are the only way we can contact each other... or they were.
I'm not sure what happened to some of the farms. I was too young when it happened. I know that some families left, betraying their trust, and some died out, and some just went silent for no reason we ever knew. This is the last farm still being tended, as far as I know, and I am the last farmer.
I need to find someone to help. I know I do. I should find young people to join me, teach them to tend the trees so that they can go to the other farms and re-seed. But I have never left my farm, and the thought frightens me. When my cousin Gilly died, I was so young, only sixteen, and the last. It's been twenty years, and I've kept the farm going, but I have never dared to leave. What if something happens to me? What if I don't come back? These are the last ghost trees. I have to care for them.
Every full moon at sunset, though, I come back to the well. The well that is the heart of the farm. The well whose water glows pale gold in darkness and poisons everything but the ghost trees.... or those who have eaten their shoots.
I feed the spring shoots to my goats and my birds, every year, and eat handfuls myself. They tasted bitter to me, the first year, and the animals that haven't tasted them before have to be forced to swallow. After that first taste, though, we all learn to love them. Bittersweet and rich, they taste like sunset on snow and the smell of spring. I suppose I could avoid the whole process - there's a spring of ordinary water - but it freezes in winter, and why go to all the trouble of thawing tasteless, dull water from the spring when the well water never freezes or even grows too cold to drink safely, when it tastes so much better and makes us so strong?
I drink the well water. And every full moon I come back to the well to whisper news into it, or the names of my family, or of the farms that existed once and are now lost. I whisper, because a voice that's too loud will echo and distort. I think that's why. I'm not so sure any longer.
Then, one evening in early autumn, I hear a whisper coming back. "Antorune... Antorune..."
Antorune is the name of the mountain, and the farm, and though I'm shaking and sick with shock, I remember how to answer. "Antorune is bright," I whisper. "Who are you?"
"Antorune..." The voice is eerie and hollow, and I can't remember if they always sounded like that. It's been so long. Ā "Antorune, they're coming. They're coming."
"Who's coming? Why?"
"Yours is the last farm. The last trees. Do you know how to scatter?"
My mouth goes dry. Scattering is a terrible thing. Gilly told me stories about it. Scattering is the last act of a farmer under siege, the last desperate hope for the trees and for the world. We all know how to do it, and all pray we'll never have to. "I know. Is it time?"
"It is time." The hollow voice sounds very sad. "Be brave, Altorune. Be resolute. You must save the trees."
"I must save the trees," I repeat, and then I pause. "Voice... my name is Tula. I am the last farmer. I... I wanted someone to know my name."
"I will remember your name, Tula." The whisper was fainter now, but I heard it. "I will remember your name..."
It faded away, then. It comforted me, though, to hear my name spoken once more. It has been so long since anyone spoke my name.
I went to wake the goats. The doves slept in their nests, and were probably safe enough, but the goats would be found. Though it was late, they all got up and followed me without complaint.
I gave them all water from the well, and drank myself. The water makes our eyes and tongues glow, but it also makes night as clear as day and gives us strength for the rocky path up to the trees. The goats all follow me up that path, uttering soft bleats from their blackened mouths.
My mouth is black too. The shoots do that. Gilly told me once that we look frightening to other people, with our blackened mouths and glowing eyes and tongues. It was hard for me to understand. I've never seen anyone who didn't look like that.
We were halfway up the path when I heard noises down below. When I looked down, the farmhouse was burning. It would have broken my heart, if I did not already know the time for Scattering had come. Everything I had ever known was gone... but I could still save the ghost trees. And the goats, in a way.
We reached the trees. There are only four, but they are taller than the tallest pines, their long feathery branches reaching up and up as if they would stroke the clouds. They're bigger around than the farmhouse, now, because every year the new shoots emerge from the outside, snaking up the great blackened trunks like vines before becoming part of the tree. That's one of the reasons we eat the shoots - they have to be thinned, or the tree's new growth might choke its heart.
This year's shoots are already darkening, but they still stand out against the black of the trunk like veins. They won't get a chance to blacken in winter, and I mourn them in my heart as I lead the goats towards the great trunks.
I know the ritual. A tiny nick, enough to draw a few drops of blood, on each goat. A tiny nick, enough to draw a few drops of sap, on each shoot. The goats are bound to the trees by magic, and each goes to a spot to lick the sap, then lies down by the trunk.
By the time I have finished with the last goats, and the last tree, the goats at the first are no longer breathing, and the roots of the trees are already creeping up to draw them down. But it didn't hurt them, I know that. It would have hurt them if they'd burned in their shed, or been slaughtered by whoever is coming. The ghost trees feed on death, but they are not cruel. The goats will live again, on some other mountain.
I will live again. I believe this. I know this. I have talked to the trees since I ate my first shoots at the age of three, and heard their keening voices in my mind. Theirs is the power of life and death, but a farmer doesn't fear death. Death and life and death again, that is the nature of farming. Everything dies. But then seeds grow, and eggs hatch, and babies are born, and spring comes.
When Gilly got sick, I brought him up here so that he could die under the trees, and they sang him to his rest and promised him that he would live again, and drew him down with their roots so his bones would become a part of them.
The trees are agitated now, I can hear their keening. They are afraid, but excited too, for they know it is time for Scattering. They are only given living blood when it is time to die, and live again.
When all the goats are dead, I go to the place between the trees where four channels fan out from a central bowl, one running to each trunk. This is the way I give them water from the well, pouring the buckets hauled up on my shoulders or the filled skins tied to the backs of the goats into the bowl and allowing the water to run down to each of them. Tonight they will drink something else.
The trees do not allow me to feel pain, when the blood begins to flow into the bowl. They protect me from it. My blood will give them the strength they need. I hope itās enough. As far as I know, no Scattering has ever been performed by only one person. A whole family of farmers should be here, giving their lives to the trees. I donāt know if one is enough.
The slow trickles of red have almost reached the roots when the first men come scrambling up the path. They see me, standing among the trees, but I don't think they can see what I'm doing. My blood glows like the well water, but it's a faint glow, like starlight, and the moonlight drowns it out.
"What are you doing, creature?" One of them steps forward. He is holding a great axe, but his voice sounds uncertain. It is strange to me that a big man, armed and armoured, could be afraid of a little creature like me. His face is strange and featureless in the moonlight, with no shadow around his mouth, no light in his eyes. His face is all one colour, flat and plain like a baby's face. I could have laughed, seeing it.
But he asked me a question, and I need a little more time. "I am tending my trees," I tell him, words coming slowly to my tongue. I do not speak often, except to the well.
He looks up at the nearest tree, then shudders and looks away, "The trees are evil," he says, his fingers flexing on the handle of his axe. "These... these *things* are poison, full of wicked magic."
I blink, really confused. "Trees are not good, or evil. Trees are only trees," I tell him, frowning. "Many have fruits or leaves which are poisonous, or roots which strangle other roots, but that is not because they are evil, it is because that is their nature."
"Not these. these are not natural trees, they are the product of wicked magic." His voice shakes a little, when one of the newest and lowest branches moves a little, though there is no wind. "They will burn."
"Yes. I thought you would burn them." I sigh. It's sad. I hate to see something that has spent so long growing, something alive and beautiful, destroyed. But I look up into the branches, and faint, cream-pale lights are beginning to glow among the branches. "But you are wrong, you know. They are not made of wicked magic."
He sounds angry. "Of course they are! Look at them! They are not natural trees, and you. you with your ghost eyes and twisted body and mouth stained with blood, sorceress, you are their keeper."
I want to tell him that I am not a sorceress, only a farmer. I want to tell him that the trees are just trees, and that magic is just magic, and that evil and good are human ideas that mean nothing to either.
I want to tell him that the ghost trees are the conduit by which magic, wild magic, the magic of life and death and order and chaos, enters this world. That they have been farmed for countless centuries because they are *needed*, because their roots hold the world together.
I want to tell him that this is all a mistake.
But his axe drives into my chest, and I cannot tell him anything. I can only fall foreward, across the bowl, as my blood fills it and runs down the four channels into the trees.
The trees do not let me die. The roots rise out of the ground again, wrapping around me and holding me up. They will not let me go. Not until I see what they do to the men, the first and those who follow after, draining the blood from them with hungry roots to feed the Scattering. Not until I see the glowing fruit ripen on their branches and then break away, rising up into the sky like tiny glowing lamps, letting the air carry them away.
When the men are wise enough to stand back and shoot flaming arrows, and my trees begin to burn, the hot air only carries the fruit away faster.
This is Scattering. The last duty of the farmer. Ghost trees fruit only once, at the end of their lives, and their fruits blow away to take root somewhere far from the danger that destroyed their parents. This is why they are called ghost trees, for they need living blood, life's blood, to fruit, and they die of it.
At the last, I look down at the scene. The burning trees, the dead men, and my own body being drawn under the soil away from despoiling hands. Then I am floating away, with the other fruit of the ghost trees, on my way to a new life.
*
Lina had never entirely believed that Gilly really knew where he was going. She was willing to accept that there were ancient springs of untamed magic in the mountains. It didnāt sound any more implausible than the very fact of magic itself. She *had* doubted that Gilly, the half-wild boy a few years younger than herself, who claimed not to be human at all, but āa child of the treesā and whose eyes glowed in the dark, could find one.
But he had. Heād led them there, straight as an arrow, through thick forest and rocky crags, until they found a high plateau not so far below the snowline. It was gone to the wild, now, but there were still signs for eyes that knew how to look. The remains of a low stone wall. A great stone still marked by fire. Plants growing that should not have been there, where a garden had once been. And in the center of the plateau, a well. It looked ancient. The stones piled up into a crude wall had never been shaped, and she saw no signs of mortar, though perhaps the moss and lichen hid it.
Gilly slid down off his pony, looking up at Lina with his bright, strange eyes. āThereās a spring over there,ā he said, pointing. āYou can get water for yourselves and the ponies there. Donāt go near the well, and whatever you do, *donāt* touch the water. Itās⦠dangerous.ā
They made camp, while Gilly wandered around, grubbing up pieces of charcoal and small stones. Akal wanted to make him help, but Lina shook her head. Whatever he was doing, it was probably important.
At sunset, when the sky was full of colour that turned the snowy mountain peaks pink and orange and gold, Gilly went to the well. Lina followed, though keeping a little distance, and she saw him lower a bucket into the well and draw it up again on a rope. What was in it didnāt look like water - it wasnāt clear but as pale as milk. It glowed like the moon, and when Gilly drank from it the glow of his eyes brightened perceptibly.
Then he leaned forward, laying his hands on the stones of the wellās lip, and looked down into it. āAntoruneā¦ā he whispered, such sorrow in his voice as Lina had never heard. āAntoruneā¦ā
And then Linaās very bones chilled, for a voice came up out of the well, and though it was a whisper she heard it clearly. "Antorune is bright. Who are you?"
"Antorune..." Gillyās voice was almost calm, but when she moved a few steps to the side to look at his face, Lina saw an expression so terrible that she looked away, shocked. How could Gilly, distant and standoffish with everyone, be brought to such anguish by a voice from a well? "Antorune, they're coming,ā he whispered. He was holding one of the small stones heād picked up, she saw, his knuckles white with the force of his grip. āThey're coming."
"Who's coming? Why?"
"Yours is the last farm. The last trees. Do you know how to scatter?" Lina took a few steps towards Gilly, but stopped when he made a brief slashing gesture with his empty hand, warning her off. His voice was still calm, but now tears were running down his face.
The hollow voice from the well held what might be a note of fear, but the answer was as steady as the question. āI know. Is it time?ā
"It is time." Grief leached into Gillyās voice now, and Linaās own eyes stung with tears at the sound of it. "Be brave, Altorune. Be resolute. You must save the trees."
"I must save the trees.ā For a moment there was silence, and then the voice spoke again, the whisper fainter. "Voice... my name is Tula. I am the last farmer. I... I wanted someone to know my name."
"I will remember your name, Tula." Gillyās voice broke. "I will remember your name..."
No answer came from the well, and he dropped to his knees beside it, weeping, clutching the small stone to his chest. It was only after several minutes that he seemed able to speak again. āI left her,ā he sobbed. āI left her.ā
Lina watched him, and as mad as it sounded even now, she had no doubt. āTula,ā she said softly. āYou⦠knew her.ā
āShe was my cousin. My family. And I died and left her all alone.ā And while Lina was still blinking in shock, he snatched up the still half-filled bucket and scrambled to his feet and towards the edge of the plateau, to what looked like a craggy, impassable cliff face.
But it wasnāt. There was a path there, narrow and winding, a path more suited to goats than men, but Gilly scaled it as if heād done it a thousand times⦠and perhaps he had, Lina thought, following him. She tripped and stumbled many times, but he didnāt. Back and forth across the cliff face the path went, and when they came out on the higher place, Lina caught her breath. Sheād seen ghost trees - one that had been discovered and burned out when sheād been a child, and Gillyās own tree, which he had only reluctantly left to help her on her quest. These had to be the remains of ghost trees⦠and yet they were huge, as big around as a cottage, the shafts of the branches bundled together making a trunk black and broken-looking. When she moved closer, the remains looked more like stone than wood.
Gilly went to a place in the middle of the four great, dead stumps, where the worn remains of a stone bowl lay in broken pieces. He poured out the whitish, magical water on the ground, and then raised his hands. āShow me,ā he said commandingly, and then almost pleadingly he repeated it. āShow me!ā
And it did show him.
Lina watched, captivated, as the very dust rose around him, outlining shadowy shapes in the darkening twilight. She saw the small, hunched figure leading a trail of goats up to the trees. She watched the goats lie down, and disappear into the ground, and then the figure - a woman, though there was no guessing her age, with a hunched and twisted spine, who stood over a bowl and let her own blood run into it.
Then more figures, shadows of armour and of axes, and she watched the woman - Tula, she deserved her name - stagger as an axe struck her chest, and the twining roots that wrapped around her and held her up.
And then there was nothing, only Gilly, whose face was still wet with tears but who looked strangely, unaccountably relieved. āShe did it,ā he breathed. āShe escaped.ā
Lina stared at him. āShe *died*.ā
āOh yes. Thatās part of the Scattering.ā Gilly went over to one of the stony, broken stumps, laying his hand against it gently. āThe trees fruit, and die, and the farmers die. But the fruit fly away, to let the seeds grow far from danger, and they take the souls of the farmers with them.ā He turned to look at her. āI was human, once,ā he said, and for the first time she truly believed that he wasnāt. Not because of his black-stained mouth and strange, glowing eyes, but because of what sheād just seen.
āI lived a mortal life, and died. And when I was dying, Tula brought me here, to the trees of Antorune, which is the name of this mountain and this farm, and the trees took my body and my soul, and the first became a part of them, and the second they kept until the time of need, so that when the seeds were sent forth, as many as possible might have a keeper with them, to be born from among the branches, to tend them, and teach those who followed why the ghost trees are important.ā
Lina looked at the broken stumps, and the boy who was not entirely human, and knew in every fiber of her being that this was why sheād been chosen. This, here and now, this knowledge that had been preserved even after death by a poisonous tree, and brought back again. āTell me, then,ā she said quietly. āTell me why they are important, and what they have to do with the terrible magic that rampages through our land.ā
He shrugged. āThey are what prevented the wild magic from ravaging all this world, until foolish men forgot why they were important and named them wicked.ā He sighed, and then he moved to the edge of the small flat place, looking out over the great valley below them. āAnd that is why we scatter their fruit, and ourselves with them, so no matter what happens, someone will remember why.ā
āHow?ā Lina frowned. āHow can a tree⦠even one as strange as a ghost tree⦠change the nature of magic?ā
He picked up the bucket. āThe same way you change the nature of water,ā he said dryly. āThey drank it. This water⦠the wells are places where magic comes into the world. Once, it poured in wild and uncontained, and all the world was as this land has been in the last hundred years. Magical storms, and monsters, and lands breaking apart and seas pouring in. Magic, in its wild state, is as dangerous as lightning, or the sea, and even more so, for it follows no laws.ā
Lina frowned. āLaws?ā The word seemed incongruous.
He nodded. āAll things have their laws. If you plant a seed from a tree, what will grow is the same kind of tree, not a flower, or grass. If you pour out water on a slope it will run down, not up. Water will only harden into ice when it is cold, not when it is hot. The laws of the world are not like the laws of men, and nothing may disobey them⦠except magic. And that disobedience is very dangerous, for it unmakes the world itself.ā
āI think I know what you mean.ā She had never thought of it in that way, but⦠yes, it was a good way to explain the mayhem of the last century. The very fabric of the world being warped, unmadeā¦
āYes. Youāve seen it.ā He tapped the bucket again. āMagic that has passed through a living creature is different. It⦠it learns the laws. It learns the shape of the world. It is tamed. But there are few living things which can endure more than a taste of wild magic without dying of it. It is a poison to them, as it is to the world.ā
āAnd that is why magicians are dying? And dying so⦠so horribly?ā She shuddered, and tried not to remember what had happened to Cengolant, his terrible screamsā¦
āYes. There is not much tame magic left. And when they use the wild magic, it unmakes them.ā Gilly sounded different, here and now. More confident, and somehow much older. She wondered how old heād been, when heād died. āThe ghost trees are different. They drink the magic-infused water, and the magic passes through without harming them. They are called poisonous, but it is the magic in them that makes them so, just as mushrooms grown in unclean land are poisonous, but leave the land clean.ā
Lina looked at the bucket. āBut you drank the water. Why didnāt it kill you? Because you came from a ghost tree?ā
āIn part. In part because I have eaten the shoots.ā He touched the blackened rim around his mouth. āThat is the source of this stain, and the light in my eyes and my blood. Those who eat the young shoots of the ghost tree are changed by it, and we, too, can endure the touch of wild magic without harm. We would feed the shoots to our goats, and our pigeons, so that we too could pass tame magic into the world, and prevent harm.ā
Lina laughed suddenly, almost hysterically. āI remember once⦠when we were in that rat-hole city, I saw you piss up against a wall and I was *sure* it glowed.ā
He laughed, too. āIt does,ā he said, amused. āMy dung, too. And that is magic, safe and tame, passing from my body and into the world.ā
Lina shook her head, still laughing a little. āLike⦠like running water through sand and charcoal, to make it clean?ā
āJust like.ā He was still looking out, but when she went to stand beside him he looked up at her. āLina, lightning is dangerous, but mage-light is not. A tidal wave is dangerous, but water turning a wheel is not. And that does not make the lightning evil, or the tidal wave malicious. It is only⦠too much. And thus it is with magic. It is not doing all this damage with intent. Ā It is only too powerful, too wild, for our fragile world to hold. Never forget that. There is no malice here, no foe that can be fought. Replanting the ghost trees, restoring the farms, that is what will save us.ā
Lina nodded slowly. āIt is like a flood, coming down a river,ā she said softly. āWhen there is too much water upstream, and it rages down and washes all away. Ā But the river is not angry, it does not *want*⦠it just is. You cannot fight it. You can only build better levees and dams and bridges, for the next time.ā
āOr plant many mushrooms, on poisoned ground, to draw the poison out.ā Gilly nodded. āWhich is not to say that fighting the monsters and the mad wizards is not important, any more than rebuilding what the flood has destroyed is not important. But it will not solve the problem.ā
She nodded. āSo. Where do we start?ā
Gilly looked at her. āWe?ā
Lina shrugged, spreading her big hands and muscled arms. āYouāve been listening to me complain for the last two months about how foolish it was to send a farmerās daughter, however big and strong, to fight magic. But it wasnāt, was it? This was never truly about fighting. The fighting is only to buy time to grow more trees.ā She grinned down at him. āAnd if there is one thing I know, it is how to grow. I *am* a farmer, and this is the work for me.ā
He grinned back at her, and it was the first time sheād ever seen more than a tiny sliver of a smile on his thin face. āWe, then. I have some cuttings, live shoots from my own tree. Tomorrow, we will plant them. And then we will begin to search for the other reborn farmers.ā His face softened. āI would like to see Tula again,ā he said softly.
āShe would have been reborn like you, from a ghost tree?ā
āOh, yes. Or will be, perhaps. It takes time.ā
āThen we will search. And we will plant. And we will dam this flood.ā Lina flexed her hands. Sheād wielded a sword too much, these last months. She couldnāt wait to get her hands on a shovel again.
Okay, I know the name is a little odd, but sadly, I've forgotten the reasoning for it.
I believe I found the recipe on @gallusrostromegalus page here, but I'm not sure.
Sadly, the post containing the original recipe seems to have gotten swept up in the Great Smut Purge on Tumblr because of the name.
Anyway, these are delightful, crisp cookies with a slight, decadent chew near the center and just EXPLODE with flavor, both from the cookie itself and the little chunks of crystallized ginger.
Imagine the best ginger snap you've had and multiply that by ten!
Also, I did add an optional 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper to give it an extra kick. Just wonderful!
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Naamah'sĀ Ginger Spice CookiesĀ / Ginger Sluts
Ingredients:
3/4 cup vegetable shortening
1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
1 large egg, beaten lightly
1/4 cup unsulfured full-flavored dark molasses
2-5 tablespoons crystallized ginger, chopped to size of chocolate chips ("optional" but without it they are not gingerĀ sluts)
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon dried ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt
granulated sugar (orĀ turbinadoĀ sugar) for dipping the balls of dough
optional: black or cayenne pepper
optional: for raw-dough safe cookies, or vegan cookies, substitute 1/4 cup pumpkin and 1 teaspoon of baking powder
optional decoration: red and green sugar sprinkles
Preparation:
In a great big bowl, cream the shortening, brown sugar, molasses, and egg together until smooth. If you are adding pumpkin, do it now. If you are adding the crystallized ginger, add it when you are done with this step.
In a second bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and salt. Add any pepper or cayenne at this time. If you're substituting pumpkin for egg, don't forget your baking powder. When you measure the flour, use a tablespoon to add it to a measuring cup to be sure it has the proper loft, then level with a knife.
Add the flour mixture into the shortening mixture in several batches, stirring well. The finished cookie dough may be soft and may be stiff, depending on whether you used shortening in a stick (recommended, IMO) or shortening from a can (harder to stir). Either way, cover it and chill it for at least one hour.
Roll even tablespoons of the dough into balls and press one side of each ball into the turbinado or granulated sugar. Around Christmas I like to mix red and green sugar crystals with the dipping sugar, but these cookies look great with plain granulated sugar and best of all with coarse, caramel-colored turbinado sugar.
Arrange the balls well-spaced with the sugar sides up on greased baking sheets. They spread a lot! Bake them on the middle rack of a preheated 375°F oven for 10 or 12 minutes, or until the surface puffs up and then flattens way out. Keep an eye on them the first time you make them. Some oven configurations will produce a done cookie in only 8 minutes. When ready they will be gingery-colored and cracked, like Mars. They'll be a little poofy and soft but not gooey in the middle. Let them cool for a minute on the sheet (they will deflate a bit), then transfer to cooling racks with a metal spatula.
Take them out on the early side if you like chewy, soft cookies, on the late side if you want them a little crispier.
If you use strictly level tablespoons of dough, this recipe makes around 40 cookies. They will disappear much faster than you think. Don't make them too big; as I said, they spread.
...So this is the family recipie but I have no reccolection of calling them "Ginger Sluts?"
I tend to lean on the molasses and add a bit of Karo syrup for less brown sugar to make them extra-soft so sometimes they come out as "Ginger Bends" or "Gingergami" cookies instead of hard "Snaps"
Love the name tho. There's a lot of gingers in my family and friend circle.
thinking about how ursula k leguin said "what goes too long unchanged destroys itself. The forest is forever because it dies and dies and so lives" and how everyday i wake up slightly different and i can feel myself shed the skin of who i used to be slowly, slowly, until i look back and can scarcely recognise who i was... but also she is still a part of me, part of the leaf litter and the humus, supporting me as i send new roots down and new leaves stretching up to the sunlight
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I saw some weird ass conspiracy video thing today of like 'we were never meant to have access to yeast, that was cultivated in a lab and it harms us' bullshit and I was like well first off there's no such thing as 'meant to' and second of all um? the long history of acquiring yeast from beer foam stretching so far back ??????
If you want to make sourdough started from scratch, the process is 'mix water, flour, and maybe sugar if you've got it, then WHIP IN AS MUCH AIR AS YOU CAN' and let it sit. And this works. Because there's yeast there. In the air.
Not only is there yeast in the air, it's on a bunch of fruits, too. Ever rubbed a blueberry, plum, or grape, and it was slightly darker underneath? That thin film is wild yeasts. There is also yeasts that live on human skin (and not just pathogenic ones!). We are never without yeasts.
oh my goodness, one of dian fosseyās first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badlyĀ that by the time sheād gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her:Ā āNearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.ā
[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]
imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. itās conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.
One million years after humanity disappears, octopi and ravens have independently developed sapience. And one day an octopus child and an elder raven meet at the edge of the ocean.
Where is your mother and father? asks the raven. I have no mother or father, says the octopus, blushing pale. All octopi are children. Once weāre grown, we will mate and we will die. It is the first and the last thing our mothers tell us.
But thatās horrible, says the raven. Itās not all bad, says the octopus. We play, we hunt, we make games for ourselves in the deep. Yes, but who remembers your songs? the raven says. Who passes down your stories?
What is a story? the octopus asks.
And the raven thinks about this question. And finally it says: A story is how you remember things in the past. It is how you know where you come from, and what happened before you were born. A story can be a warning, or it can be advice, or it can be a silly joke told to make you feel good. Someone remembers the story and tells it to the next generation, who remember the story and tells it to the generation after them.
And the octopus thinks about this answer. And finally it says: Can you tell me a story?
And the raven tells the octopus a story. And itās a good story. And the next day the octopus returns and asks for another. The next day it brings its octopus friends, and the raven brings its raven friends, and many stories are shared on the edge of the ocean.
Months later, the octopus returns to the raven. I am grown, it says. I am returning to the sea to find a mate and lay my brood. I will not be coming back. Iām sorry.
I will miss your company, says the raven.
I have one thing to ask you, says the octopus. In time my children will come to the edge of the ocean. I would like you to tell them a story I have made. And when they have stories of their own, I would like your children to remember them and pass them down to my childrenās children.
Of course, says the raven. What is your story about?
And the octopus thinks, and says: It is about an octopus child and an elder raven who meet at the edge of the ocean.
I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the ākids are scaryā changeling type horror movies.
Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like āThis is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but heās bad at playing catch. Most people canāt see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.ā
āMom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and heās going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! Youāll love it!ā
In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.
Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says āYou Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.ā
Fairy: Oh my god stealing peopleās names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?
Me: Well yes, but thatās just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.
Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?
Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. Itās still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.
Me: What kind of competition?
Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but Iāve never seen one.
Me: Okay so why shouldnāt I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?
Fairy: Thatās mostly a regional thing but where Iām from itās insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something thatās like calling them poor.
Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?
Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if Iām being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.
Me: Do you have Internet down there?
Fairy: Only dial-up. Thatās why I come to your house.
Fairy: So youāre telling me that human men donāt think that frog eyes are sexy?
Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.
Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.
Me: Hey man you donāt have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.
Fairy: You really think so?
Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.
Fairies: Look man, even we donāt mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and itās just best to not question it.
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I know that lesbian is also a word that can refer to someone from the island of lesbos and when Herodotus says that a king āsent his lesbiansā to do something heās referring to soldiers from lesbos
but I canāt get the image out of my head of a king or general pointing at a city and yelling āgo, my lesbians!ā and then a bunch of gay women running in to burn it down
reading ulster cycle texts is so fun its like "and then cu chulainn crushed his empty can of monster energy against his head and threw it at the connachta and it smashed the skulls of three times nine men, and it was awesome, and henceforth this hill was called "the place where cu chulainn killed three times nine men with an empty can of monster energy and it was awesome" for the way he awesomely killed those dudes with an empty can of monster" and this goes on for like 30 pages