"Old stories are like old friends..."

I know this is meant to be funny but it actually makes such a good point about how ADHD and executive dysfunction can impact people in really major ways, including financially

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

I believe in the death penalty but only for financial crimes committed by billionaires and multimillionaires. Embezzlement is fine if you’re in middle management and you take like $40k but execution by firing squad for everyone with a net worth above $3 mill

ah doing ma thing just like god int- (remembers im atheist) just like the universe intend- (remembers i don't believe in determinism) just like noone and nothing intended ever. doin ma thang fucking unpredictable style

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

>go right

>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)

>…go back to the right

Go left

Go forward

> Ascend

Go right ->

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

i do actually think it's crazy that employers get a say over shit like tattoos and piercings and we just let that happen

if you look cool as fuck you become unemployable

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall