Hella Image Descriptions

Helluva Boss + Text Posts

Image 1: Blitz looking fondly at Stolas in his own bathtub from the end of Mastermind, holding one of his own shirts for Stolas to change into. A text message reads: “I turned out liking him a lot more than I originally planned.”

Image 2: Andrealphus preening in Satan’s court. A tumblr post by ibpd reads: “(bolded,) me, wearing a fur coat over lingerie and holding a glass of wine. Me? Petty? Asterisks takes a sip, of course darling.”

Image 3: Blitz and Millie from the flashback of their first meeting in Ghostfuckers. They face off in the middle of the destroyed bar, both standing proud; Millie is on her guard and Blitz is smiling, competitive but clearly impressed. A tumblr post by elytrians reads: “Hey girl I saw you from across the bar and I really dig your tall dark and morally bankrupt murderer for hire vibes. Can I get your kill count.”

Image 4: Fizzarolli, bouncing happily in Ozzie’s club. A twitter post from make up a guy makes up a “guy who jingles loudly when shaken”.

OH YEAH

Image 1: Adam executes an exceptionally badass air guitar solo. Lute is more than happy to encourage him. Her headline reads: “Woman Laughs Off Boyfriend’s Lighthearted Misogyny”.

Image 2: Charlie glows seraphically despite the deep disdain of her staff and clientele. Her headline reads: “Serial Optimist Exhausts Entire Group of Friends”.

Image 3: A slightly jarring screenshot from the pilot of Alastor harassing the monochromatic and rather uncomfortably racist version of Vaggie; his headline reads: “Local Hero Rescues Woman From Not Smiling”.

Image 4: Lucifer mugs for the camera. His headline reads: “Single Woman Makes Awesome Pancake-Shaped Pancakes For Herself”. genderfluid lucifer w

Image 5: Angel Dust luxuriates in the toxic attention the loan sharks are supplying him with. His headline reads: “How I Cured My Depression by Walking 5 Miles Every Day, the Exact Distance to My Ketamine Dealer’s House”.

Image 6: Lilith, maybe, lounges on the diamond shores of the blesséd beach. Her headline reads: “Divorce Has Done Wonders For Mom’s Creepy Sex Life”.

Image 1: Valentino lounges in his private section of a nightclub, wearing zebra-stripe lapels and fishnet stockings. I’m going to neglect to mention the fact that his cursed neck his visible and instead focus on the fact that there’s a bug zapper in one corner and a security camera in another. Val leans over a particularly attractive woman, and purrs to her, with a tumblr post by f4g4um, “hey you kind of set off my prey drive. wanna get out of here? you first”.

Image 2: Angel Dust professorially holds up one index finger and closes his eyes; it’s not quite mansplaining, it’s significantly more generous than that. A post by geekysteven reads: “A common mistake people make when they go to a sex dungeon for the first time is using their healing items and mana up on the mini-sex boss and being left defenseless when they reach the main boss”.

Image 3: Charlie passionately addresses the heavens with yet another stellar idea as she holds Cherri Bomb’s hand: she physically could not be more frustrated by the situation, and Angel very much shares her distaste. A post by akashicrecord reads: “starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club”.

Image 4: The Vees’ seminar room. The light is low and conspiratorial; Vox has left his chair and begun to brood in front of the frame; and has revealed that while all of the leather chairs lining the table have a cyan V on the back, Vox’s chair is the fanciest, and has an elaborate headrest to support his gamer-ass ego. Present, in some way or another, is Val, although he’s much more engaged with bedazzling Moneyshot than with either the conversation his partners are sharing or his cosmopolitan. A post by bathroomcube reads: “im bore. does anyone want to shoot each other until one of us hits something vital”.

Image 5: Sir Pentious, his confidence wavering but his smile still intact, lets his gaze flicker nervously off to the side as he shivers uncomfortably in the sex club from 106. A post by sapphling reads: “she might be ‘your girl’ but in a matter of minutes I could fumble her so catastrophically as to permanently secure a space in the hallowed halls of her memory. never forget this”.

Image 6: Back to Val cradling two women in his private booth; his expression is uncertain and a little concerned. A post by goatgirlballs, who has one of those fucking quote unquote “mature content” blurred icons, reads “well if its for fucked up and horny reasons, then i guess its okay…”

Image 7: Alastor curls his hand around Charlie’s face. She is deeply, deeply touched by this gesture, and it readily shows on her face; Alastor, bathed in the green and purple lights of his show magic, is visibly sinister, and appears to not mind showing Charlie that at least a proportion of his behaviour is deceptive. She believes him anyway. A post by toesuckingoctober reads: “the world’s first ethical gaslighter has told you all of your failures in life were actually false memories”.

Image 1: A screenshot of Emily coming to the delighted realisation that Pentious has arrived in heaven: her smile beams brighter than the sun. A post by generalgrievousdatingsim reads: “an angel who says ‘Hello LGBT community’ instead of ‘do not be afraid’ ”.

Image 2: Lucifer flashes back to the high council of archangels circling around him, delivering his eternal punishment: his face is despondent and tired but not intensely distressed. A post by woodrider reads “Banishment is the funniest punishment I can think of. Just get out of here”.

Image 3: Niffty happily looks up at an unknown figure. A tweet from dasani_bottle reassures “you are not alone. theres bugs”.

Image 4: A defeated Lucifer hangs his head and starts to walk away. Charlie, concerned and ever hopeful, looks back at him and pleads that he keep going. A screenshot of a small checkbox reads “remember that you can’t save everyone”. wearepaladin posts another screenshot with a checkbox that reads “remember that you have to try”. Its box is ticked.

Image 5: Alastor places his hand on Charlie’s shoulder in order to showboat in front of Lucifer. Charlie holds his hand back and looks up at him gratefully, completely buying his false display of affection. A post from greelin reads: “that’s my emotional support entity of questionable moral standing”.

Image 6: As Charlie is attempting to get Angel Dust to stay and do his exercises at the hotel in Masquerade, he frustratedly pulls off his sunglasses and leans down, gripping Charlie’s shoulders, desperately trying to inject some sense into her, get her to understand the reality of his situation. Another post by greelin reads “honey we are ALL doomed by the narrative.. it’s not that serious. have some fun with it”.

Image 7: Lucifer spreads every one of his wings and poses smugly. A post by rottingegirl reads “when i fell from heaven i smacked the ground so hard it gave me brain damage”.

So... anyone else watch the latest Helluva Boss? Anyone?

Stolas, addressing the court after interrupting Blitz’s execution, “I’m about to explain everything, in the only way I know how.”

He pauses for a beat, then poses dramatically, one hand on his chest and the other outstretched, and finishes his sentence, “Song.”

From the balcony, Vassago cheers, “Yes! Yes!” He throws his arms up in the air, then wiggles his hips and says, “Càntalo, baby!” (Translated as “Sing it, baby!” in the same caption.)

Do you know what this episode reminds me of? Authoritarian, dictatorial rule. People have opinions of public execution in the real world. It’s something that actually happens. Even for peoples and societies that don’t currently commit to public executions more than likely have a past history of doing so. And the realities of this very real thing were made clear in this episode. Because Blitz, and even all of IMP, was going to die. And in the real world, you probably don’t have a royal lover to save you at the last second. It is a real tool used by cruel masters to keep people in line, to invoke terror and submission. We all saw their faces.

A family of imps, children watching. The little girl closing her eyes sadly.

His best friend and loved ones watching him get his head lopped off.

Even his scorned ex who he viciously hurt is horrified by this.

Just because we knew Blitz was going to be saved, should in no way erase the seriousness of this event. This is something used to enforce submission, to instill fear. Satan mentions how he created imps to be obedient. This was meant to be a reminder to all the lowly people in hell that their place is in the dirt. Because Blitz is only moderately successful for his race. By the standards of higher classes he would still be seen as a low-rate wannabe business man running a seedy operation. His is not rich by any means. His business only produces enough to moderately support his family and his workers.

And he was about to be killed for it.

He was about to be executed because he was a little too uppity. Because he dared to be anything other than what was designated for his race. Let that sink in. Imagine if you were executed on international television just because you wanted a better career and life. This is the reality in Hell. And the unfairness of it all is so blatantly seen when Stolas is harshly punished but still allowed to live. Not only that, but it was put on public record that he’s silly to think he would be killed because “his life actually has worth”. That’s insane.

Image 1: A family of imps, including children, crowded around a tiny TV, watching with various expressions, ranging from shock to intrigue to resigned sadness.

Image 2: Fizzarolli, watching with his eyes wide and mouth agape, clutching his phone to his chest after having texted Ozzie, begging him to save Blitz.

@/fizzierolli tweeted: So Satan ruled Hell before Lucifer showed up!

Along with a video of Satan’s part in the song Mastermind, where he sings, “I’ve ruled the endless dark since long before the golden angel’s fall.”