Nothing like a broken heart to bleed ink

we’ll be mostly discussing the whole diaspro situation. so first let’s start with how excited they both were about the millennium party, like it genuinely breaks my heart. sky was SO excited to introduce bloom to everyone and be open and bold with his love! i feel like he’s always been a pretty closed off guy. simply because he never actually had anyone to open up to. until brandon of course. and i feel like for a while brandon was the only person who actually knew him. i feel like he’s always been very quiet about his feelings and never really allowed himself to be vulnerable to anyone. (and then being at red fountain and being with bloom got him to start opening up) he was a very quiet child but that’s not who he wants to be anymore. he wants to be loud, open and bold with his feelings and introduce his girlfriend to his whole kingdom. which is by the way a HUGE deal!? bro’s basically introducing his people to their future queen. this man is serioussss. he means business. and obviously bloom’s aware of how big a deal this is. and yeah, understandably she’s really nervous. she doesn’t really know how to behave royally and her first encounter with erendor and samara was NOT great so yeah, girl’s anxious. but regardless of that she is also SO excited. like yeah, the sheer amount of people does lowkey terrify her but she is also very much looking forward to sky publicly, and proudly, announcing his love for her. and any doubts she might have, he smooths over and reassures her that she’s perfect and everyone will love her

and then, of course, diaspro comes in. and ruins everything. (and sure, maybe you can defend all the other shit she’s done but this is genuinely unforgivable) she literally drugs sky. takes away all his autonomy, all the control he has over his body. and just turns him into her puppet. where he is forced to do everything she says. and worst of all, is forced to hurt the most important people in his life. the ones he loves most and are dearest to him. he is forced to hurt the love of his life, to make her cry, make her suffer, all while he’s forced to watch. genuine torture.

and after he’s eventually freed from the spell he doesn’t go “while the things i did hurt the people i love and i have to apologize to them, i was not in control and it was not my fault” nope! he starts carrying immense guilt from it

but before we go into that, let’s talk about him finally getting back to magix! he’s finally going to see his friends! he’ll finally see his girlfriend again, apologize to her, get on his knees and beg her to forgive him if he has to. anything! he just wants to see her, to try to make it up to her, to hold her. to— wait what’s that you say? …she’s gone? he might never see her again…? yeah. so that fucking sucks, doesn’t it? no, but imagine. the person you love and care for most in the world, the person you dream about every night, is gone. she left five seconds ago and you might never see her again. there’s a chance she’ll die there and the last thing she’ll remember from you is you fighting her and being awful to her. and she might never know how much you love her. how much you care about her. just how much she means to you. how would you live with yourself?

(the amount of emotional turmoil (i don’t think that’s quite the right word but i can’t for the life of me think of a better one) they both go through is genuinely so heartbreaking. bloom thinking sky didn’t love her and was in love with diaspro the whole time, all the shit she had to go through but also what i just talked about with sky. those poor kids were NOT having a good time)

the thing that really hit me is what brandon says in 3x16 (i’m using the cinélume dub because 4kids cut it out and the nick one wasn’t as good) - “i was thinking about sky. how he wanted to apologize to bloom for what had happened on eraklyon. but by the time we got back, she’d already left for pyros. he hates himself for hurting her… even though he wasn’t himself when it happened because of that— that spell that he was under.” , specifically the “he hates himself for hurting her” line. like damn, that hit me like a truck

so first of all, i was pretty spot on with my assessment of sky. the whole ‘if he isn’t useful he isn’t worthy’ mentality. and how he views him failing to do something as him failing as a person. even in this case, where the thing in question was literally out of his control. he is in no way at fault for what happened and yet he hates himself for everything he did, but most importantly for all the pain he (aka diaspro and valtor cause like i said he DIDNT DO SHIT) caused bloom. that was the worst pain bloom has ever experienced and in his mind, it’s all his fault. and i think one of sky’s biggest insecurities is that he sees himself as weak (and i think that’s one of the biggest reasons he takes being a specialist so seriously and why he wanted to become one in the first place. he wants to help people, he wants to be useful). for not standing up to his dad, for not going for what he wants, ect. and i think this unfortunately just reaffirmed it for him. that he just wasn’t strong enough to break through the spell or some bullshit like that (literally victim blaming). and because of it, he hurt the person he loves most. and for that he could never forgive himself

then we move onto 3x17, bloom is finally back from pyros and her and sky finally reunite. we'll talk about several things in this scene but what really stood out to me was how he was so hesitant to touch her at first. like he feels so disgusted with himself that he can’t even dare to touch her. only after he apologizes and after she takes his hand to her cheek does he caress her and start initiating physical contact with her. it's such a small thing but i feel like it gives a lot of insight as to where sky's head is at.

now, let's talk a little about their immediate reactions to seeing each other. for bloom, it's probably a little overwhelming. she got back from pyros where she spent the whole time just trying to survive, she went to her dorm and all her friends were gone, found out her friend IS actually alive and all her other friends are trying to save her, decided that obviously she's gonna go help as well and JUST found out sky's back from eraklyon. and not to mention the last time she saw him he was basically possesed and tried to kill her, so yeah. it's a bit overwhelming. and she doesn't really know what to expect but obviously she's so happy to see him and so glad he's okay and is finally himself again. unlike bloom though, sky already knew she was back and okay prior to seeing her, so it's a little different. let's rewind a little to when sky found out bloom was back. obviously we didn't see this but we can imagine it. he was probably in his room when amore came and told him that 1 his girlfriend is back and 2, most importantly, she's alright. his immediate reaction was probably just pure joy and relief. just SO happy. he IMMEDIATELY went to see her. but then in the ship he probably thought about everything that had happened, and when he saw her his mind probably went back to one of the last times he saw her. her face filled with tears as she walks away from him, no longer himself, just forced to watch the monstrosity diaspro and valtor turned him into. and all of it spelled ‘your fault’ so after the conversation gets started the thing he immediately goes to say is an apology. you can tell how much it was gnawing at him. how that was probably one of the only things he’s thought about ever since he was freed from the spell. how he was gonna apologize to her, what he was gonna say and how he was gonna make it up to her

and while i do like this scene the most in the nick dub, cause i prefer the dialogue over the 4kids one and i feel like the voice acting is more authentic and emotional than the cinélume one, the 4kids one is really interesting. after bloom says she's glad he's okay he says - “well, i guess if by ‘okay’ you mean that i’m no longer under diaspro’s spell, then yes. i suppose that i’m okay. but i really won’t be okay, in fact, i won’t be okay at all until i’ve somehow managed to make this up to you, bloom.”; after which bloom says “don’t say that, sky. it wasn’t your fault.” and sky responds with “i know. but i hurt you, bloom. and that’s the last thing i would ever want to do. i was under diaspro’s control.”

it's soooo interesting. sky saying he won't be okay until he somehow manages to make it up to her for everything he did while under the spell. how he won't forgive himself until he makes up for everything. how he would do anything to gain back her trust. and obviously she doesn't need him to do anything, she perfectly understands it was out of his control. but still, sky would bend over backwards if bloom asked him to.

lastly we have 3x22 but honestly there isn't much to actually discuss. bloom asks him if he was in love with / felt love for diaspro while he was under the spell and sky tells her that he wasn't / didn't and honestly i liked the way he worded in all 3 dubs so here's all of them to end this long ass post lol (also he confirms diaspro didn't sexually assault him so yay for that)

cinélume “well, no. i’d say things that sounded like i did, but deep down inside, i was shocked by what i just said. as if my heart didn’t agree with what my mouth was saying.”

4kids “no. i would say things that sounded like i did, but inside i was shocked by what i’d just said. it was like my mouth spoke but my heart didn’t follow.”