Let's Get Down to Business

(Sorry if this is too much to ask, feel free to ignore me :3)

Hello! This is something I love talking about, not too much to ask at all!

Character bleed is when the line between who you are and who your character is gets blurred and you (for lack of bettwe words to describe this) begin to become the character you are playing. This is an especially prevalent conversation in the DnD and LARP communities, but it isn't really something I see people consider or know about in the MCRP space. It took me until early last year to realize how much of a crossover there is in terms of those three spaces, before then I viewed it as it's own thing entirely.

In DnD, one simple way to help differentiate you from your character is to narrate your actions in third person, rather than first. But for most of roleplaying, I find that it really helps to sit back and decompress after playing a character for hours. I'll listen to music that I specifically love, songs and artists that are not on a character playlist, just what I associate with me! (Flipturn my beloved) Journaling is also something I've found helpful, writing down stars and wishes for the session. Stars are things I really enjoyed, and wishes are aspects I want to work on more.

The one thing I cannot stress that I recommend enough is checking in with scene partners after a session is done, especially if there was a high emotion scene present, arguments/breakdowns/anything that could linger in the back of your mind after all is said and done. Just check in with them and say "hey! how are you feeling after that? anything you want to talk about or gameplan from?" Opening honest conversations for check ins helps to prevent internalizing emotions that you feel as your character- I feel it really helps to foster a safe environment. It can be difficult to shut a scene down, but in a LARP or TTRPG space, never be afraid to X card or step away from something if you feel it is weighing on your emotional or physical wellbeing. Your health and safety comes first over a game.

As for consent checklists, the tried and true one I love is by Monte Cook Games! It's a classic in the TTRPG community and can provide a great foundation for a session zero. I used it as a base and made a form for people to fill out, but ended up removing some of the preexisting topics and adding a bunch more to tailor it to the MCRP space. It gives a long list of topics with a red, yellow, and green box by each. Green means you're totally good with a topic, yellow means you'd like it veiled or not given in great detail, and red is a hard line of a topic you do not want to explore. It has a bunch of topics, some that most campaigns would never touch, but it's better to be expansive and cover all topics while saying most won't be in a campaign than to leave it more vague. For example, I included Religious Trauma because I knew my story would branch into that, so I wanted to make sure that I avoided anyone with my main backstory who marked that they were uncomfortable with those themes. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't interact at all, I would just know to be mindful when exploring my backstory around them!

on the other hand...

Sexual fantasies are, by their very nature, transgressive. Yes, even the fluffy, romantic ones. As long as general culture remains negative about sex and sexuality in any form that isn't cishet procreative sex within the confines of matrimony with the woman not as an equal actor but an object sex is performed onto, this is going to remain true.

And the thing about fantasies is that our brains like to take the things we crave the most and mix them up with our fears, anxieties, pain, and trauma into a melange of, sometimes, truly epic levels of fuckery.

But here's the secret - things we fantasize about, from the most wholesome to the bizarre to seriously fucked up? They are very, very often NOT what we literally want.

Being into dubcon or noncon doesn't mean you actually want to be raped or rape. Being into monsters doesn't make you a zoophile. And fantasizing about violent, obsessive men doesn't mean you wouldn't run as far the fuck away from a man like that the second one of them set their sights on you.

If you're really interested in the subject, I recommend reading My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, a compilation of anonymously submitted women's sexual fantasies. And, as it turns out, women fantasize about a lot of really violent, uncomfortable, and just plain screwed up stuff.

And, for most of them, even when they don't actively realize it, it's about reclamation. Of fear, of trauma, of loss of power. It's about THEMSELVES and how THEY feel. As weird as it's gonna sound, the men featured in those fantasies don't really matter, they're just a vessel, a manifestation of the extreme version of what you're dealing with and/or crave. A safe, cathartic way to experience something profoundly unsafe, unwise, and terrifying.

For women fantasizing about criminals, villains, monsters, and anti-heroes, it's very often about the idea that someone like that - intense, violent, with single-minded focus, and immense power - would love her, want her, always put her first, go against all his instincts/training for you without a second thought and be a clear and present danger to everyone but warmth and safety for her and only her, and burn the world itself down for hurting her in even the slightest of ways. It's a sexual version of the fantasy of having a pet tiger, one that would never, ever attack you or hurt you in any way.

And just like the people who want to boop the forbidden snoot, the women fantasizing about their fantasy Mafia Boss Lover are very well aware of the fact that 1) men like that don't actually exist, 2) the criminal world of their fantasy has all but nothing to do with reality, and 3) that the thing they're actually fantasizing about is being loved, wanted, and safe... just in a REALLY intense, exaggerated way. And, let's not mince words, there's also often a more or less strong D/s dynamics at play in the scenario, too.

Now, you can choose to be judgy bitches about it (goodness knows plenty of you in the replies, comments, and tags are), in which case I would suggest you examine why you're feeling such a profound need to shame women for enjoying themselves in their own little world, or you can apply the YKINMKATO mantra and understand that straight women, living in the constant state of preyhood, sometimes consciously or subconsciously reclaim power over that situation through transgressive sexual fantasies.

Also, fuck this idea that queer people only fantasize about healthy and wholesome relationships, romantic, sexual, or otherwise, as if at least half of Tumblr isn't simping for, oh, for example, Hannibal fucking Lecter. Do you have ANY idea how many Mafia and Thug BL content there is out there?! FFS, Tom of Finland, a WWII veteran who fought against Nazis, drew art of exaggeratedly masculine men in Nazi uniforms in pornographic situations as a way to dissociate himself from those traumas and fascists themselves as far back as the 1950s!

prev tags, text ver. below the cut

a horse fantasy is something that is theoretically possible. I do not currently own a horse, and the reality of owning a horse would involve boring stuff like paying for its food and mucking out its stall, but it is something I could do in real life. like, horses exist and can be owned by humans. lots of fantasies can fall into this category: traveling to a foreign country, living in a cute house with just you and a cat, winning a marathon, basically anything that is technically achievable even if it would be difficult to do so in real life.

a unicorn fantasy is something that is definitely (or almost definitely) impossible. I do not currently own a unicorn, and there is no version of reality where I could own a unicorn, because unicorns are not real. the actual logistical issues that might arise from owning a unicorn, like paying for its food or mucking out its stall, are completely immaterial because it's not something that could ever actually happen. and like, it's in my brain! I control it! I can imagine a unicorn that only eats marshmallows and shits potpourri if I want to!

I think the disconnect comes in when people assume that a unicorn fantasy is actually a horse fantasy. to use the tiger example from upthread: you can own a tiger. you can't have a completely domesticated tiger that would never hurt you, not even by accident. so saying "I want a pet tiger" is a unicorn fantasy, because everything necessary for that fantasy to work (it being completely domesticated and incapable of harming you) are not things you can have in real life.

now, serial killers/war criminals/normal criminals/etc. are all things that exist. and there are definitely people in relationships with them in real life! so it's tempting to assume that something like "I want to fuck a serial killer" is a horse fantasy: something you would want to do, and could do, if given the opportunity.

The fantasy is that here is a powerful, aggressive, even violent man, and he wants you and needs you so much that he would burn the world down for you. The central fantasy of the romance novel is that the heroine is so desired and loved by the hero that he is both metaphorically and literally forced to his knees for her. I'm not with my books or notes right now so I can't remember the exact quote, but I think it was Jayashree Kamblé who said that this aggressive/Alpha male subtype of romance heroes is "a lion among men who is a lamb before his woman". That's the fantasy. It's really powerful! If your life experience has told you to expect to do all the care work and to minimise yourself and your needs to be palatable to others and to be grateful for any crumb of attention because you're too fat or too outspoken or just generally not perfectly feminine enough, the fantasy of someone going absolutely feral because they want you so much is really powerful and empowering!

The effect is something like when you've got a persistent unwanted suitor doing "romantic" shit like sending you flowers at work and lovebombing you and otherwise making a big deal out of his feelings and your coworkers or your family or your friends are all encouraging you to give in because "it's so sweet" or "he wants you so badly, it's cruel of you to deny him" or "I wish my boyfriend did that for me, you're so lucky" and none of them will understand that a) what they want isn't what you want and b) the persistence, the control, the disregard for your wishes all make him the romantic equivalent of food that's been pissed on---and neither does he.

The whole effect is viscerally uncomfortable, and even the echoes or memories of coercion taint the whole concept.

And I think a key factor in the fantasy is a variant of that unicorn situation up above, to wit:

Your church, family, repressive upbringing, and/or purity-focused socialization will never approve of you dating a mob boss or a monster

Therefore

Your church, family, repressive upbringing, and/or purity-focused socialization will never force you to date a mob boss or a monster.

Therefore

Your fantasy about the mob boss or the monster is effectively free from the coercion you're used to in your real life and trying to escape.

Happy Pride!

I decided to do this post for Pride to help fellow creators. Finding an audience for our creations can prove difficult, especially when we are marginalized artists that don’t fit the WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) mold. We creators need to look out for each other so we find an audience.

It is hard to find new titles by queer authors of Color. We can attribute this to the attacks on such authors thanks to certain conservative parties in power and legislative threats. It’s all the more reason why we have to protect these titles and make sure they come out into the world. And we are more than happy to hear your recommendations of which titles felt cathartic for the LGBTQ communities and individuals online. 

If you are queer and scared of the present, please stay alive. We need you out there, living, feeling, and finding your true self and friends. 

2026 Releases

Buy links:

You’ll Never Forget Me by Isha Raya 

Shimmering Lake: Summer Camp Collection I by Laika Wallace 

Journey to the Heartland (Second Edition) by Xiaolong Huang

On Sundays, She Picked Flowers by Yah Yah Scholfield

The Forest Bleeds by Rachel Kitch

The Perfect Match by Adiba Jaigirdar

The Obake Code by Makana Yamamoto

The Case of Elmwood Ranch by Deanna Grey

Milk & Mocha Comics Collection: Our Little Moments by Melanie Sie (USA release)

The Covenant We Cut by tzipporah-creates AKA WWC Mod Sci (ongoing webcomic)

Honey Bee and Lemon Balm 1 by Jil Hashikura (USA release)

Perfect Princess By Bambi Nieves, illustrated by Alison Nieves

The Most Magnificent Me by Chitra Soundar, illustrated by Sophie Bass

I Don’t Wish You Well by Jumata Emill

Love, Gods and Sinners by Camille Chong

Lake Life by Tanya Boteju

Good Luck, Babe! by Erin Baldwin

Love Makes Mochi by Stefany Valentine

Adult Books

You’ll Never Forget Me by Isha Raya 

I’ve been trying to study noir. It’s a gritty genre where people rarely get their justice, and cruel people escape the consequences of their actions. We see a 2020s take on Hollywood noir when rising star Dimple Kampoor in a fit of rage pushes her Asian-diaspora actress rival down a flight of stairs in her own house during a party. She didn’t mean to kill Irene, but she can’t admit she’s sorry when offered a great acting role that Irene had won. The rival’s family hires private investigators, believing the fall was no accident; disgraced P.I. Saffi returns to the US to help the investigators. Despite the two women engaging in a high-stakes battle of wits, they also demonstrate a mutual attraction. Saffi promises to deliver the proof when she’s a hundred percent certain after a botched investigation five years ago, but getting to that hundred percent is the rub. Dimple will do anything to keep her acting career, no matter how many bodies ensue. 

The story establishes itself as LGBTQ noir in a racist Hollywood with double standards against women. No good person wins in this story, and we know that from the outset. It is fun to read though, and delivers on the noir promise. The “dead dove: do not eat” labels are very clear, however, and this time the dead dove has a red carpet.  

Shimmering Lake: Summer Camp Collection I by Laika Wallace

Shapeshifters, vampires and werewolves are too absurd for some families, but not for the ones featured here. A bullied child with a narcissistic mother gets bitten by what looks like an injured wolf, and the decision empowers him, while another is determined to photograph what they call a frogcruncher. Pride parades show promises of friends banding together despite a few insensitive remarks, and vampires debating the power of LED versus the sun. 

Be prepared that plenty of stories occupy these 530 pages. It’s a long time investment, but fun and going by fast. 

Journey to the Heartland by Xiaolong Huang (Second Edition, originally published in 2023)

Content warning: This story covers grooming, parental abuse, and child sexual abuse.

Oy, what a hard story. And yet a necessary one, as a boy named Hanwei endures an abusive father who beats him for crimes like not brushing his teeth. Neighbors gossip about how Gaoming Zhu brings men home and how cute they are, embarrassing Hanwei and his mother Rulan. Rulan never loses her temper, but she also refuses to accept needless blame when Gaoming rails at her. Hanwei starts emulating her as a teenager, protecting his mother from Gaoming’s abuse. Gaoming then leaves when Hanwei is seventeen; a situation that should freak them both out becomes liberation. 

A grown-up Hanwei explores his sexuality in California after a grad school program accepts him in Los Angeles. Though Rulan remains reticent, reminding Hanwei how his father hurt them all, she listens when he cites statistics of same-sex behavior and attends Pride with him. Settling in a new country brings its own woes, however; Rulan can’t speak English when she attends Hanwei’s doctoral graduation ceremony while wondering if he’s emulating his father, and immigration law along with systematic homophobia dog Hanwei’s partners. Bankers also screw up the US economy, adding only more woes. 

On Sundays, She Picked Flowers by Yah Yah Scholfield (reprint; first published in 2020)

A sinister and surreal Southern Gothic debut novel, about a woman who escapes into the uncanny woods of southern Georgia and must contend with ghosts, haints, and most dangerous of all, the truth about herself.

When Judith Rice fled her childhood home, she thought she’d severed her abusive mother’s hold on her. She didn’t have a plan or destination, just a desperate need to escape. Drawn to the forests of southern Georgia, Jude finds shelter in a house as haunted by its violent history as she is by her own. Jude embraces the eccentricities of the dilapidated house, soothing its ghosts and haints, honoring its blood-soaked land. And over the next thirteen years, she blossoms from her bitter beginnings into a wisewoman, a healer. But her hard-won peace is threatened when an enigmatic woman shows up on her doorstep. The woman is beautiful but unsettling, captivating but uncanny. Ensnared by her desire for this stranger, Jude is caught off guard by brutal urges suddenly simmering beneath her skin. As the woman stirs up memories of her escape years ago, Jude must confront the calls of violence rooted in her bloodline. Written by a Black lesbian author, with a Black lesbian lead.

The Forest Bleeds by Rachel Kitch (Oct 13)

A dark academia horror novel about a group of PhD scholars held hostage by a billionaire in his remote mansion in the Appalachian mountains, who must use their combined knowledge of bioengineering and occult spellcraft to save themselves. A very eerie, claustrophobic and grotesque horror thriller, great commentary against big-pharma and unethical research in biomedical research–it's just refreshing to see dark academia that is centred around STEM disciplines for once!

The horror fantasy elements are inspired by both Appalachian as well as South-East Asian folklore. It's also quite a visceral study of exploitation of racialized labor, and the marginalization of Asian-American women in academia. Saige Chambers, the protagonist, is a disabled bisexual woman of Thai descent, and her love interest is an Indian-American lesbian!

The Perfect Match by Adiba Jaigirdar

Dina is done. She's burnt out after years in corporate London and now is working in her family's struggling Bangladeshi restaurant. The last thing she expects is to be roped into coaching a football team of disadvantaged amateur players–or to say yes.

Maya is back. She could have had a brilliant career, but it all went wrong. Now she's back home, back in her childhood bedroom. Her only escape is agreeing to coach her old secondary school's team.

It doesn't take long for them to bump into each other again and for as long as anyone can remember, Dina and Maya were rivals. But will the very game that tore them apart bring them back together?

The adult debut of popular Bangladeshi-Irish YA author Adiba Jaigirdar (The Henna Wars, Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating), this is an enemies-to-lovers, angsty queer sports romance set in London, featuring Bengali bisexual and sapphic leads.

The Obake Code by Makana Yamamoto

An all-new, standalone sci-fi heist thriller about a bored hacker named Malia, who is forced by vicious gangsters to take down a crooked politician, only to find herself up against a code she might not be able to crack. This novel is part of a series of generally connected “lesbian heist” stories, each featuring an all-lesbian and trans cast, set in the Kepler space station–basically a futuristic Hawai'i. While I preferred the first novel in the series, Hammajang Luck, I also thought that the cyberpunk thriller plotline in this one was more interesting and impactful, using popular tropes like sentient AI systems and evil clones to criticize gentrification, unethical data surveillance and the many exploitative practices of big-tech companies. Malia is a Black lesbian, and Yamamoto is a Native Hawaiian and multiracial lesbian author.

The Case of Elmwood Ranch by Deanna Grey (Release date: July 15) 

A Black bi4bi sapphic indie romance between a legacy paranormal investigator and a loner horse rancher, set on a haunted ranch.

Octavia doesn't believe in ghosts, but she can't deny something's wrong with the land she's sunk her entire savings into.

Rae Jones is in the business of ending nightmares. She comes from a long line of paranormal investigators. One of four, she's set herself apart from the Jones sisters by making their legacy into a commercial success. After years of enjoying said success, she's hit a wall. Whether it's burnout or a full-blown existential crisis, she doesn't know. One guaranteed way to avoid a downward spiral? Take every interesting job she can get. And that includes one from a very stand-offish, non-believing rancher who thinks she's a scam artist.

I read Grey's sapphic romance Outdrawn last year; it was the sweetest story, so I'm definitely excited for this.

Speaking of BIPOC sapphic romances:

Tanya Boteju also has a Christmas romcom coming up: Setting the Stage for Christmas (Oct 13, pretty rare to find a festive lesbian romance with non-white leads), and Zakiya N. Jamal has a Black sapphic sports romance coming up: Two Can Play That Game (Nov. 17).

Graphic Novels and Webcomics

Milk & Mocha Comics Collection: Our Little Moments by Melanie Sie

The title characters aren’t explicitly labeled as queer, given they are mascots for an international messaging service LINE. Milk and Mocha live together, however, ordering food and sharing their sleeping space. They enjoy the little moments together, from playing video games together to vibing. Love doesn’t mean being happy together all the time, but it can mean putting in the work to not let little conflicts become big ones. Also, these two are so CUTE.  

The Covenant We Cut by tzipporah-creates

One of our WWC mods (Mod Sci) created this one! Content warning: This story covers mental illness and the parental abuse that results from it.

We see a queer Jewish adaptation of Tanakh (Sh'muel Aleph (Samuel I) 20:1-20:42). Caught between his lover David’s safety and his father King Shaul’s suspicion of David, Yonatan comes up with a plan to assess the danger. However, things quickly go awry at the New Moon banquet when his father finds out. You can tell how much Yonatan and David love each other and what Yonatan will risk to prevent losing him. The coloring adds to the tension while the two meet in secret. 

The webcomic comes in two languages: an English translation from Everett Fox (more text) and the original Biblical Hebrew (less text).

Children’s Picture Books

Perfect Princess by Bambi Nieves, illustrated by Alison Nieves

I knew this story would be good when Princess Amina winces when giving knights hi-fives but being too polite to offer constructive feedback. Her childhood friend Keiran opposes how Amina has come out of the closet, expressing it with a spell that sends her far from home. Amina has to find her way back without her cosmetics, sword, or silverware. A blue rabbit agrees, joining her and a tiny dragon on the long walk home. Amina has to accept her lack of perfection when not having silverware for a snack or a sword to handle enchanted townspeople. Likewise, Keiran has to accept that his friend has become her real self and watch what his magic does. 

The Most Magnificent Me by Chitra Soundar, illustrated by Sophie Bass

This book is more LGBTQ+ coded than LGBTQ, but it does the job with internal validation and positive affirmations. Plus, if you have a toddler with doting parents, they will love hearing how magnificent they are; I can verify this courtesy of a video call with some younger family members. Babies have big egos, and they need to sustain them as they grow older. 

Manga

Honey Bee & Lemon Balm 1 by Jil Hashikura

I was on the fence about this manga because the situation seems contrived at first: a yakuza in a nighttime district gets a job at a flower shop following a stint in prison -- where he took the fall for some superiors -- and getting booted from his old gang. Kaoru Mitsuya tries to be tough but starts falling for the owner, 

The manga went from standard romance to great writing when we meet Yuichiro’s siblings -- and one very clearly defies gender roles. You can see a family that cares about each other but doesn’t know how to communicate their concerns, with Yuichiro working 24/7 and refusing to take care of his health and his siblings forcing him to rest.  

Young Adult Literature

I Don’t Wish You Well by Jumata Emill 

True crime can hit or miss for me; in this case, the hit comes from a fair-play mystery. College student and amateur podcaster Pryce gets a lead on a seemingly closed case. Five football players were murdered, ostensibly by a gay classmate they drugged and assaulted. One witness, however, has stated for years that the ostensible serial killer had an alibi. Pryce thinks he can expand on the story after recording the witness’s story, especially when finding out other witnesses are still alive.

Love, Gods and Sinners by Camille Chong

Harper and Tia are roommates, and interns at the same tech company. They clash, they fight, they flirt. And, under cover of night, the two of them adopt secret identities and head out on missions across the city for their respective magical clans. Tia is the beautiful descendant of the Moon Goddess, and Harper is secretly Raven, the leader-in-waiting of the feared and villainous Foxes. When each is tasked by their clan to kill the other, a deceitful game of cat-and-mouse begins. And Harper and Tia will start to understand that the concepts of right and wrong can be just as complicated–and dangerous–as falling in love.

Set in an alternate futuristic world, where descendants of ancient magical clans don secret identities and battle on the streets of Singapore, this debut novel, the first in a planned duology, is a glittering, action-packed urban fantasy, with an enemies-to-lovers romance at its heart. Singaporean author, Asian lesbian and bisexual leads.

Lake Life by Tanya Boteju

A charming sapphic summer romance with environmental activism themes, about two teens who agree to fake-date when stuck together in a quirky, scenic lake town. Written by a Sri Lankan-Canadian author, and featuring an interracial sapphic romance.

Good Luck, Babe! by Erin Baldwin

Reality TV enthusiasts Noelle and Yumi spent a decade attached at the hip—until one ill-fated night (and one awkward kiss) ended their friendship. After a year of no contact, fate throws the girls back together when they’re offered a last-minute spot on their favorite race-around-the-world reality show.

It’s a chance to put their superfan status to the test, a dream come true. Except for a few snags: it’s an all-couples season, filming starts in two days, and Noelle hasn’t spoken to her “girlfriend” in a year. But she already has plans to use the prize money on her ailing father’s medical expenses, and she would do anything for him—including fake dating her ex-bestie on national television. This sapphic YA romcom is written by a Filipino-American author, and features Filipino sapphic leads. 

Love Makes Mochi by Stefany Valentine

A cute sapphic YA romance between a goth fashion designer and a tattoo artist. Written by a Taiwanese-American author, featuring Asian-American and Japanese lesbian leads.

Lilyn Jeong is living her best life—in Tokyo! She gets to learn from the legendary yet notoriously terrifying tailor Mrs. Matsumoto. Getting a glowing recommendation from her could be Lilyn’s ticket into her dream fashion school.

So when the latter is tasked with designing an entire collection, panic sets in. She has only weeks to figure out how to mix her goth aesthetic with traditional Japanese style. Thankfully, Mrs. Matsumoto’s rebellious, tattooed, rainbow-haired daughter Yua offers to help. But going on cozy dates with this cute girl is way easier than sewing yukatas. Can Lilyn find a path forward in fashion and love? Or will she watch as everything falls apart at the seams?

Keep reading to see our recommended 2025 releases!