I'm not sure how to go about a proper pinned post with boundaries and all when one of my boundaries is that I'm just kinda deciding to be less engaged on certain discourse fronts - but I suppose we can start there and keep it vague
because the even bigger, more all-encompassing boundary is that I am no longer interacting with things that force me to assume I am always doing something wrong and must stay open to correction
this is what I have managed to identify as the core belief Tumblr instilled in me from the beginning of my adulthood, and this is the belief I will no longer operate on, here or elsewhere, if I'm going to have a peaceful life with genuine room for growth
growth, for me, has to come from a place of self-love and self-compassion, from a place of already believing myself to possess discernment and curiosity - it can't come from a place of believing I can't be trusted because of xyz unchangeable feature of myself and my life, or of believing that my perspective is not valuable, or of believing that I should have known better all along
and that on its face is probably perfectly uncontroversial, but I do mean that things like my whiteness, my American-ness, the conservatism in my hometown and familial roots, my specific experiences of being a lesbian who came out later in life and who is still having a lot of conversations about sexuality and gender, my job, my finances, my capacity or desire for radical political thought... any and all aspects of my personal life, are not things that I can constantly be counting against myself and my own perspective like mental slaps on the wrist - and that is something I have felt asked to do the entire time I've been here, whether I have actually been asked to do it or not; to be here peacefully means to treat that perception as valid and respond to it accordingly
truly, this is likely just going to look like me adding more and more phrases to my tag and content filters rather than any kind of outward change - and the reason for pinning this post is mostly that *I* will need to see it on occasion
but I just want to express, as clearly as I can, that this is no longer a place of self-flagellation, and that this is a place for me to practice holding opinions and perspectives and then changing my mind; fostering earnest growth is the priority here
and I do understand if me including specifics is a turnoff, so please do whatever you have to do to stay safe in your own internet life, but naming them and naming the shame I have felt over them is necessary for me - that "reclamation", if we can call it that, is a step not toward some kind of oppositional pride, but toward true neutrality and acceptance
