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am always obsessed when someone says to a character “call off your dog” about another character.

"why do you still bring up charlie kirk" because it's funny. his death is genuinely a running joke to me. you could say it's the greatest contribution he has made to society

whenever one of my posts is tagged #fave or whatever i like to take a look around in there, check the curation and all that, see how prestigious the club i've been inducted into is

the youtube notification of ''ooohh your video isn't starting up smoothly???? turn off your ad blocker you cunt <3'' is so pathetic to me bc it takes five seconds max. you think i can't wait five seconds? you think i need to give you money because five seconds is too long? i pity your wife.

Every once in a while I'll get engaged where a piece of media where one character has a highly specific and non-obvious speaking quirk, which I myself don't notice but another fan or friend far more unwell than me will catch onto and inform me of. And then it's like I'm part of the secret true universe and any fan content breaking the rule will, inadvertently and in ways I cannot fault them for, brand themselves an imposter.

Garnet StevenUniverse does not ask questions. Jax TheAmazingDigitalCircus does not curse. Probably 80% of the Homestuck fuckers have some flavor of this but I'm not unwell enough for that.

the more elusive and arcane cousin of "he would not fucking say that"

the gameplay-real life separation in baseball games can be really fucking funny sometimes. most of the games out there the only thing you're looking for in a catcher is that they've got a hell of an arm so they can fend off steal attempts. The best catcher in Mario Superstar Baseball is Petey Piranha because he's got the strongest arm in the game, even if that arm is technically his mouth. But think about how it appears in-universe. The catcher is like the general presiding over the field of baseball and you've put the biggest possible oaf in that position. Even if Petey could understand how to, he physically can't even signal the pitcher because his arms are just giant leaves.

When I say "godspeed" (I say it a lot) I like to imagine I'm a member of a futurism religion that worships velocity above all else. Like its the standard well-wishing in my culture. Speedliness is next to godliness. Someday we'll catch him! And the closer we get the more he loves us