everything happens so much

your cat was an honor to see in the window

hey don’t check ur mailbox today i put anthrax in it sorry i regret it now i’m learning to not act on my impulses

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol

daddys having an identity crisis to be honest with you kitten

I straight up want to own a solid gold coin and a large gemstone this isnt a joke Im dead serious

Uptown fuck you up

We all got that feeble & extremely unpleasant loser friend that wont let u touch their shit just because yo hands sticky as fuck

who is your best friend if not your parents biggest hater