Sɨnɨsŧɇɍ Ᵽᵾłsɇ

So I do quite a bit of content creating/SW and what pisses me of is that I promote so much about it and it's all at a decent price too. Literally a measly 10 a month. The 1 fucking time I do a free month so many people go out of their goddamn way to go for it. Fucking waste of time people. All looking for free fap material as if I don't matter. Literally so pathetic. How the actually how can people like that live like that?? It makes me so goddamn homicidal. God I wish I could go off on these scum without losing some possible reach. I really wanna rip these fuckers heads off and tear them to shreds. I fucking hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. FUCKING HATE IT. ACTUAL FUCKING FREELOADERS. TIME WASTERS. FREE CONTENT SEEKERS PREYING ON SOMEONE WHO IS LITERALLY DISABLED JUST TRYING TO LIVE. FUCKING HELL.

So I got my teeth pulled. All of them. I'm getting replacements. I think I'm definitely more of a psychopath than I think I am cause the novacane (numbing shit they shoot into your gums with needle) wore off about half way through. I didn't care to have them put more in so I just had them keep going and I lied about it still being effective. They pulled my teeth for almost 2 hours. Blood everywhere. The dentist kept asking if I'm fine and I was like, "yeah keep pulling". The assistant was the most concerned cause she kept giving me these scared looks cause I was so relaxed and vibing while this dentist pulled my teeth out with pliers. I was enjoying the parts where they'd space my teeth with a wedge and I'd feel my teeth crack. The only part that annoyed me was the drilling. The sound irritated me and made me want to drill the dentist with it. But yeah I definitely traumatized them. They were pulling a literally psychopaths teeth out. I was enjoying it all. Now I know that I can be tortured and the "pain" won't bother me.

This is gonna sound abusive in some form but it isn't. My girlfriend knows I have ASPD and other mental things going on. But this is honestly really reassuring cause I could tell her how I wanna shatter her spine and she would be like aw that's cute but we both know you somehow feel a form of love for me so you wouldn't. It makes me actually shocked a bit cause she's not scared when I say things like that. She shows me genuine love(from what I can actually understand) and cares. We play this game where she pretends to try and escape and I just swoop her up or pin her on the bed. She laughs about it and gives me a warm smile and tells me she loves me. This goes to show that even if someone like myself has ASPD etc, that you can find someone who accepts you. My crash outs aren't ever directed at her either so she knows I'd never do anything towards her.

Instead of falling into my impulsive horrific thoughts, I've been mixing. Here is a short video. I like that extratone that I mix with the dnb cause it makes this sound that almost covers up all the noises in my head.

Do any of you just look at blood and think how you could just brutally beat tf outta someone and basically force it out of them? Not that I'd do it cause I have a lot of self control but god sometimes I really want to.

The downside is that if they don't worship me and shower me in compliments recognizing me as said god, I will actually want to m*rder everyone within a 5 mile radios of my location.