The Tenents of 181

I work in an obstetrician and gynaecologist’s office. we have to tell patients on a regular basis that they are binge drinking weekly when they think they are simply consuming a normal amount of alcohol on the weekends.

having more than 3 drinks in a single sitting if you have an estrogen based endocrine system is a binge that is medically significant.

having more than 5 in a sitting is a medically significant binge for someone with a testosterone based endocrine system.

every time you do this, it significantly impacts your risk of getting breast cancer, and damages your liver. it takes time to recover from that liver damage. if you’re having a 3-5 or more drink binge on a weekly basis, you are an alcoholic, medically speaking, and your liver is not recovering.

again: the bar for what binge drinking is, medically, is so much lower than what you think it is.

alcohol is a really toxic substance and not something you should fuck around with.

again: if you have an estrogenized hormone system (common for most women), then 3 drinks is a binge. if you have a testosteronized hormone system (common for most men), then 5 drinks is a binge.

anything above that number, consumed as frequently as weekly or more, and you’re medically a binge drinking alcoholic.

also, if you’re drinking any quantity of alcohol 6 days a week or more, that’s another threshold at which, medically speaking, you meet the definition of alcoholism. your liver needs more days without alcohol in your system than just one a week to recover and be healthy.

I don’t say any of this to shame anyone—to me, alcoholism or substance use disorders aren’t a sign of weakness or moral failing. and most of us genuinely don’t know this stuff.

information is key. you don’t have to stop drinking, but the utter lack of education on alcohol + the normalization of binge drinking in current society leads to many people drinking without any idea of what it’s doing to their bodies.

Because a vodka shot is not the same as (idk, some low alcohol percentage alcohol.)

PT is exercise.

When I do stretches and the such that is exercise.

It’s not mid or high intensity stuff, it’s not running or hiking or football or the gym or whatever but it counts.

if you continously go on about how horrible white people are, you may rot your own brain into thinking that these shortcomings are a natural state of being rather than a manufactured supremacist system which is simultaneously widespread, evil, and capable of being dismantled. 

recognizing that you have the same human compassion capabilities as everyone else, regardless of how alienated from them you have become, is the first step toward becoming a better person capabable of helping other people (of color).

don’t mirror the way that PoC talk about you as an oppressor class. the context is different, and the mindset that you develop from it is different.

don’t fall into a mindset where you (act as if you) are a morally compromised being for being white. the ultimate end of antiracism is to denaturalize racial hegemony, including virtuous moralization of the “oppressed”

evaluating your engagement in racism & the benefits you receive from white supremacy is only one piece of this process. the other piece is interacting with other people (of color) as if they are indeed the same species as you.

no one fucking tells you this so here it is:

when signing out forms to apply for disability / filling out a form for diagnosis

you’re supposed to fill it out as you on your worst days

like, I filled out forms that said I could do most things usually

like, my doctor added in the conditions like “yeah, they can feed themselves when not stressed” “they can do this when not stressed”

but how I should have filled it out was more like

“some days I can’t feed myself” “some days I can’t leave the house”

My doctor didn’t even know this, but I talked to someone who had worked with people with both developmental and intellectual disabilities for a number of years, and she told me to write down how it is for your bad days

this should be a thing they tell you, but it isn’t

it's certainly not "repackaging amatonormativity" for individual aro and/or and ace people to want QPRs, or want to talk about their QPRs in a-spec spaces

stop using liquid laundry detergent. it’s mainly water which means a) you end up using more of it and b) it doesn’t get your clothes as clean. powder detergent is cheaper, lasts longer, and actually cleans your clothes.

while on the topic of detergent, use the measurements on the scoop. especially if you have a high efficiency machine. using more detergent than you’re supposed can mess up your machine.

i also recommend powder detergent for your dishwasher, too.

get an apron. it helps keep cleaning chemical off your clothes. it also prevents your clothes from getting wet if you’re doing the dishes.

this is related to the apron thing. i like wearing one bc it makes me feel like a tavern owner. cleaning is easier when you make it into a game.

if you’re okay with wearing shoes in the house, wear them while you’re cleaning. if you don’t like wearing outside shoes in the house, get a pair of inside only shoes. wearing shoes inside activates what i call “go mode.”

“go mode” is activated when i’m wearing clothes i didn’t sleep in, shoes, and an apron. it tricks my brain into doing things bc getting ready like im going to leave the house makes it easier for me to do tasks.

stop buying all purpose cleaner. get a spray bottle and fabuloso, or some other concentrated cleaner. you add it to your spray bottle and dilute it with water and bam! it’s cheaper and it lasts far longer. and it smells better.

if financially able, get viva paper towels or something similar. they work far better than regular paper towels in terms of absorption and ability to clean dried sauces or what have you. the texture is a bit odd, so if it causes sensory issues, try cheap wash cloths instead.

stop. using. sponges. get a bristle brush. you don’t have to replace them nearly as often, you can actually wash them, and they don’t get stinky if your mental health keeps you from doing dishes for a bit.

i almost exclusively buy generic brand products because i really can’t tell the difference, but if financially able, buy name brand toilet paper. that’s one of the things you can tell a difference with.

stop thinking about cleaning as “cleaning.” that word carries a negative connotation for a lot of folks in a lot of different ways. you’re not “cleaning,” you’re resetting your space.

when it comes to tidying up, remember that you live there. your space is allowed to look like it has someone living in it.

if it’s been a little bit since you’ve tidied up, and you’re overwhelmed, that’s okay. we’re human. shit happens. life isn’t pristine. pick a room, pick a corner, work outward from it, and remember things are gonna look worse before they look better.

sometimes i use a timer system. i set one for 30 minutes and clean until it goes off. then i set another one for 10 minutes and take a break. and then another 30 minute timer with another 10 minute break. etc., etc. sometimes the timer goes off and i’m in the zone so i don’t need the break or another 30 minute timer. sometimes my 30 minutes end and my brain or body tells me i’m done. sometimes i can do 20 minutes or 10 and that’s what i can do for the day. each of these scenarios are okay. progress is progress.

different people have different ideas of what clean looks like. sometimes clean looks like not a single thing out of place. sometimes clean looks like all the trash being picked up and thrown away and no science experiments growing in the kitchen. both ideas are okay.

if you have pets, especially cats, and you’ve got pet smells, especially cat pee, that feel impossible to get out, all hope is not lost. those smells aren’t permanent. borax and vinegar can get the smell out of clothes, but you’ll need to wash them twice. once with the borax and vinegar, and then again without them to get the residue out. this is when an apron is handy again because borax is caustic. so be careful with it. this combo also helps with mildew smells, or just any other hard to get out smell.

if financially able, an enzyme cleaner and oxyclean are great for getting those smells out, too. i like to use “nature’s miracle” enzyme cleaner. it’s super concentrated, so a little goes a long way. i’ve attached the link for it.

got litter boxes? got cat pee smell you can’t get rid of? got another icky smell? “angry orange” is industrial strength AND pet safe. the link for that is included, too. plus it can be diluted to make it last longer.

get a broom with soft bristles that are tightly packed. they do a great job at picking everything up. there’s another link. you don’t have to get that one, it’s just an example.

wear a mask. especially if you have pets. tidying up can stir up a lot of dust and hair. keeping those allergens out helps you a) not feel like shit if you have allergies and b) helps you keep going longer.

if you’re overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask for help. you have nothing to be ashamed of.

if you don’t want to ask for help, for whatever reason, that’s okay, too. make a to do list. break your tasks down step by step. need to clean the living room? start by picking up and throwing away trash. then pick up out of place items and return them to their home. if they don’t have a home, make one. clean the windows if you have them. clean the space around the doorknobs if there are knobs to clean. dust if you need to. wipe down any surfaces: coffee tables or end tables or tv stands or what have you. and then vacuum or sweep. it doesn’t have to be perfect. it’s okay if you’ve gotta take breaks. but it’s a starting point.