Always one to get by best on my wits...

would you guys kill me with hammers if i went back to my prev url? 🫪🥺

i’m hiding worse, more secret emotions behind my big and obvious ones

they're executing the count from sesame street for violating the masquerade

i am largely out of touch with a lot of stuff and dont even know where it came from, but sorry nothing said or done will make me hate on 6/7 as meme. its part of the time honored tradition of dumb jokes that exist entirely to be dumb jokes that annoy your teacher. its added to the canon of Funny Numbers and in such an unavoidable way (69 and 420 are way up there so its rarer to see them in the wild, and neither 6 & 9 or 4 & 2 & 0 are naturally next to each other when counting, but you are forced to say 6/7 before you even finish counting on your fingers, no matter what, which is hilarious). as a moral and political stance i feel its important to protect the youth's right to whimsy and mischief, for therein lies the true democratic spirit suppressed by the state. gen alpha get behind me

hi my name is dark yagami and my goal is to give birth to billions of people

Matt Damon literally called Ben Affleck "one of the great loves of my life" totally unprompted. Saw a picture of him and said that. Is it even Real Person Fiction at this point? It's just the truth.

how do you lose a sea

You forget to cherish her

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

I was reminded of this other day. Say what you want about Taz Graduation. But the scene where the owl is trying to explain capitalism to Justin's Firbolg character. Is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen.