You better not die, you might actually go to hell

Horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender says “you come in here an awful lot mate, you think you might be an alcoholic?” The horse says “I don’t think I am” and promptly vanishes

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

Bitch I don’t even know you. And you’re a deer.

love having a mutual who likes one specific thing. Seeing it on my dash and thinking oh yeah it’s my Thing mutual

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

Take my hand Let’s lower the birth rate together

basically i like to pick my interests based on what will be most embarrassing for me at any given time

ultimately we all have to quit our jobs and walk into the sea

i love that it’s a carefully worded, well-written, non-inflammatory answer too. which asker wouldn’t know because they won’t read it. i love website

"A wall of text" baby that's a curb at best

the other day I read a compelling point that many instances described as illiteracy would actually be more aptly described as aliteracy, meaning an individual has the ability to read but simply chooses not to. great example here, awesome work.

(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?

Oh, sure. You slither down ONE wall like a lizard, and suddenly your new friend (the same friend you JUST invited to stay in your house for a MONTH!) starts calling you "a creature in the semblance of a man." Smh.