O.o

IMPOSTOR! That last one is a Rafflesia flower!

one time when i was specializing in whales a guy came in and asked where the whales were right that instant (southern resident killer whales could be anywhere between alaska and california at any given moment) and as soon as i started explaining that he loudly interrupted "I'LL GO ASK A MAN" and stormed off to one of my employees and from a distance i watched him ask the same question and then the employee point back at me.

how about dog walker while in spiderman costume

you. you get it

been seeing a lot of alien 1979 set photos on here recently and it made me remember when i was ten and my dad let me watch it with him. i fucking loved it and was totally fine through the initial chestburster scene, fully giggling with him at the jump scares etc, but then we got to the scene where ripley is doing ship maintenance in a cropped tank and underwear and i was for the first time in my young life overcome with such a terrifyingly potent blast of homosexual feelings that i started crying out of the kind of sheer guilt that only a ten year old catholic who thinks she's going to hell for admiring sigeourney weaver's shoulders could muster, and begged him to turn it off bc THIS SPECIFIC PART was allegedly too scary. he very kindly let it go and i spent the next decade convinced i had successfully pulled the wool over his eyes and that he was blissfully unaware that he'd been present for my religiously fraught gay awakening. anyway we went to see alien romulus together last yr and the second we got a glimpse of cailee spaeny's third act muscle tank he leans over and goes, "is your gay ass gonna cry again? bc these tickets were $17 a pop so i need you to keep it together"

my love for you is like the moon; it controls the tides somehow through a mechanism i don’t entirely understand

my love for you is like a rose; edible except for the thorns and root system

my love for you is like a wildfire; strengthened by climate change and capable of moving at nearly 15 miles per hour

my love for you is like the Titanic; responsible for the deaths of thousands in 1912, and weirdly, at least one billionaire in 2023

THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.

im a fan of the moment where the husky is like 'wait you're not authorized to do that' and the collie is like 'THE FUCK IM NOT'

the opposite of that "ogre can't read ulysses" is an elf who smugly delivers a lecture misinterpreting the Very Hungry Caterpillar

Verified: Microsoft 365 gets massive 45% price hike — and it's all to do with AI tools (Tom's Guide - January 17, 2025)

oopsie i tripped and spilled my link to archive dot org's downloadable copy of Microsoft office suite for 2007, which features no AI tools and is a powerful word processor that still holds up just fine on windows 10!

i think a really funny project that a statistics professor could have their class do is like. put a bunch of random, patently untrue demographic statements into a hat. "the most popular tv show among white men ages 24-27 is Bluey." "the majority of business majors are middle children." "bisexual women love hot chips." and each student picks one out of the hat and you gotta like. design a whole study and survey a group of people to specifically achieve that result. you have to prove it true. by whatever means necessary. you have to construct the most biased study possible and wrangle in your exact demographic to make that statement a statistical reality. i think people would learn a lot.

the thing about capitalism is that at a certain point a product reaches its maximum audience and cant really be improved (at least not while remaining profitable), but capitalism requires a product provide infinite growth, and at that point the only way to increase profits is to raise prices, cut corners, and in the case of services start adding advertisements. this is just how the system works.

Hey, that's unfair, parasites at least play an important role in the ecosystem

We need to have places like bars where instead of only 18+ year olds allowed in it’s ONLY people who had fucked up childhoods so we can joke about it without running into a surprise normal who gets all sad and weird

Americans be like: My grandpa 😠😠😠 served in the Korean War 😠😠😠 and killed 9 people 😠😠😠 to fund his college degree in clownery 😠😠😠 Respect him or leave the country 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

That’s a super light story huh? My great grandfather got killed in action from a land mine to protect this country. If you don’t wanna respect the history or stand for a national anthem😁then leave to your peaceful home and fuck right off

How did your great grandpa stepping on a landmine protect this country

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Happy Memorial Day