*bites you*

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

I can use excel and the toilet

Emos & scene kids got this close to abolishing gender for real. I try not to think about it too much.

The idea of a popular teenage subculture where girl & boys pretty much all dress the same feels impossible now but for a while it was reality and it was beautiful.

People are always writing fanfiction about how it’s abusive for tom to hit jerry with the big mallet and jerey has mallet PTSD and gets a restraining order out on tom and starts going to a domestic violence survivors support group. stuff like this. Sometimes I like it but sometimes it irks me.

Imagine being Lamine Yamal and you’re 19 years old you’ve only been on this earth for like 228 months total you just wrapped up puberty like 2 maybe 3 years ago you watched Haalingham yaoi get shot on live tv so you lowkey gotta defend gay rights by murdering Lionel Messi most famous soccer player in the world FIFA’s little 39 year old baby boy and the man who coincidentally baptized you and thus began the prophecy of his own defeat by your hands or the whole world will burn

i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something

one thing i wanna say though is data centers being built in rural areas is environmental racism + classism so when i see ppl bitching about locals bitching about data centers im like oh it’s literally because it’s not your backyard being demolished and your air not being polluted and your waterways not being ran dry and your soundscapes not being raised to unhealthy decibels ….

shell of a person is such an apt description like yeah i feel exactly like that rn

My personal go-to is "rotten log"

in the TikTok robot lady voice

Yeah sure I'll reblog that

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

Cmon man