¯\_(ツ)_/¯

would be fun if language acquisition echoed language evolution a la recapitulation theory. kids going through an indo european phase.

fuuuuuck there really is an xkcd for everything

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

what if you combined a pressure cooker and a deep fryer and made a pressure fryer, the most dangerous kitchen implement in history

does this imply you want to heat cooking oil to past its boiling point at one atmosphere

*grabs america by the shoulders* we have got to lock the fuck in. south asia and the middle east are running goddamn circles around us. we have got to come up with a more dangerous way of cooking food now or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

turns out the events of lost are completely canon to portal, it's just not mentioned because chell and glados never intersect with them. glados knows it's happening the whole time though

okay dont be mad but i just scheduled you for every appointment ever. you have an open house on tuesday and a doctor is removing your all of it tomorrow 👍

the groundhog reportedly saw "a blood red sun. in the foreground a massive wheel framing the sun in the sky. the wheel has ceased to turn". nobody is sure what this means but its probably fine

Official ominous sign (apparently translates to "Sorry", in a sincere way)

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THEM

Kitties dont relly have Breeds like doggies do but they have special types like Weird Baby, Angry Head, Sleeper Fatty, Yappy Meower, Orange, Sweetie Playful, and The Creep. If you collect them all, well. You will probably have too many kitties.

when u plug a phone into a computer the comupter always charges the phone even if she has less charge than the phone bc the computer thinks that due to her size she always needs to provide for those smaller than her even when it hurts her more than it helps others. btw