I can't work because I'm always in pain from my fibromyalgia. There is no help from the state (I live in Brazil). I always need money for rent (1300 BRL), electricity (usually about 880 BRL), food, cooking gas, hygiene products and medication, and sometimes for getting to the hospital and back. (1 USD = 5.43 BRL currently i.e. August 2025).
Paypal: [email protected] (in Brazil we can only receive money for "payment for products")
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So. It's been a wild few weeks. But basically on July 15th, this blog got nuked thanks to that stupid "I submitted you to Tumblr for termination, contact me to view the support ticket" thing that's been happening to a ton of people. I created a backup account, @pennywaltzy, which I will keep just in case something like this ever happens again, and I made a new help post there. Fortunately this blog got reinstated and so I am very thankful for that.
I'm pretty much copy/pasting the post on my backup blog, but I really need help. I managed to get the laptop issue I had sorted, and then I had to pay for two bills I hadn't expected which wiped out the money I had raised to put towards the repair, and the next payment of one of those bills (my mom's car insurance) was due yesterday, and that bill was $57. We need to pay that so I can upgrade our insurance to comply with California's driving laws as well as $14 to reinstate my mother's drivers license once I get our insurance upgraded
My daughter has three appointments next week in three different cities (all three trips are less than 40 mile round trips, so I need to raise around $240 for the three of them...one is a rheumatology appointment so we can get Lena on a better arthritis med, one is her therapy appointment, and the third is the root canal appointment that had to wait two months because the original dentist died).
I also need a little bit of help for food before the 1st. Not much there, maybe $40. My GERD is acting up and I'm having trouble eating some of the stuff in the apartment.
So I'm aiming to try and get $325 to cover all of this stuff for now. I have other stuff that needs to get covered, including potentially trying to raise thousands of dollars for my Uncle David's cremation, as my mother was quoted it would cost $8,000 and we currently have no idea if the VA is stepping in to cover costs and inter him at a military cemetery. But for now, I need at least $80 by tomorrow the 20th for my daughter's rheumatologist appointment. Thank you all so much.
to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it youâre literally gonna be using that almost every day
âEverything above reduces to four rules you can run in about two minutes, standing in the aisle:
Look up the owner, not the name. The name is the cheapest part of the company to preserve. If the ownership trail ends at a private equity firm or a licensing group, assume the product and the reputation are no longer aligned.
Read the warranty before the reviews. Its length is the companyâs own estimate of how long the product lasts, and its exclusions are a list of the ways they expect it to fail.
Buy bare metal where you can. Cast iron, carbon steel, plain stainless. No coating means nothing that dies at cycle 40 and nothing to rebuy in eighteen months.
Distrust a name thatâs on everything. When the same brand appears on your pan, your knives, your toaster, and a box fan, nobody who owns it makes anything.â
Guy: Yeah Iâm, Iâm just gonna put this out into the world: I need you to drive, like you got in your car on purpose. Drive like youâve got somewhere to be, because I do, and Iâm behind you! I donât know how I always get stuck behind the person thatâs like. *impression* âThat cloud kinda looks like.....looks like a rabbit!â âI do believe....that meadow is full of daffodils!â
*cracking up* Okay, hereâs the problem, is I was mad at that guy, and now that Iâm doing an impression of him I kinda think heâs adorable and I like him. I like him now. Itâs a very unique way to defuse my own road rage. I donât know what kind of mental illness I have, but itâs fun.
I've been thinking about this video non-stop for months, but do you know what just occurred to me? This is actually a great example of mindfulness, expression, and self-modulation.
Instead of bottling it or lashing out, he took the time to stop in a quiet place to process an upsetting event. He validated his anger, and stated he felt his needs were going unmet. He then humanized the person who upset him, and considered their intentions. He then found perspective on the event and his own emotions. This then genuinely calmed him down.
Those are all therapy skills being used in real time! Which, like, I don't think people talk about enough. Part of the human experience is getting angry about stupid things. Feelings can't be permanently bottled or unleashed full force on the spot. You need to process it, and take the time to see the bigger picture.
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#sometimes I ask myself if Iâm actually interacting with Odin#because sometimes this entity seems too capricious and modern #and without fail#I always get slammed by the presence of the fearsome powerful Aesir-god#and can almost hear him say #âwhy am I not allowed to be both?â#right on Old Bastard #right on #carry on sir
Co-signed @blackbearmagic -and to some extent why I credit the upg that he isnât a god, but Something Else that wears godhood like a cloak, mantle or mask. The contradiction of how he can be so human and also so Other is justâŚ
Yeah.
Odin fucking loves memes, yâall. The Lord of Battle, the Master of the Runes, the God of Death, God of the Hanged, God of Magic and Madness, the Patron of Poets and Lord of WisdomâŚ
fuckin loves even the dumbest memes humanity drags up from the depths of our collective dork consciousness.Â
Odin would play Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Odin could recite verbatim the Zero Wing âAll Your Baseâ intro. Odin has a favorite Sailor Scout, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtle. Odin marathoned Jessica Jones in one sitting. Odin unironically enjoys âNever Gonna Give You Upâ by Rick Astley. Odin has gotten in more than one edit war on Wikipedia. Odin has the Thomas the Tank Engine mod installed on his copy of Skyrim. Heâs also never finished the main game because he got too busy doing sidequests and crafting, plus both Stormcloaks and Imperials are dicks who donât deserve his dragon-shout help. Also, he still thinks the âarrow to the kneeâ meme is hilarious. Odin enjoys Rebecca Blackâs âFridayâ, in no small part because he happily trolls Frigg with it literally every Friday.
Odin absolutely loves hashtags. He tags #Fenrir in literally every Courage Wolf and Insanity Wolf image meme, even when it doesnât make sense. He tags all âMost Interesting Man in the Worldâ memes with himself, again whether it makes any sense or not.
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Have you ever underestimated what sugar does in baking, and tried to make something with only 1/4 or less of how much sugar it called for, and made a disaster?
Yes
No, but I have with another ingredient
No
I've never baked
I used to think it was just/mostly for sweetness so made muffins with barely any cause I didn't care about them being sweet, just needed chocolate, and they were hard and dry af
Have you ever underestimated what sugar does in baking, and tried to make something with only 1/4 or less of how much sugar it called for, and made a disaster?
"There's no hope for the future." And that's how they felt during the Atomic Age, during the World Wars, during the Enlightenment Revolutions, during thr plagues, during the Viking raids, during the fall of Rome.
Been feeling a bit hopeless of late. Wasn't expecting to stumble across a quote that would fundamentally alter my perspective and make me cry during my lunch break but here we are
tho to be fair i think a lot of the outcry of âplaying godâ is the fault of how mass media relays scientific discoveries to the general audience.Â
like i remember when there was a lot of new discussion on the real possibility of cloning a wooly mammoth, the headlines were like âbringing the wooly mammoth back from the deadâ or literally referring to it as âresurrectionâ. and like the sensationalistic language gives an impression that weâre like.. bringing an individual wooly mammoth back to life, resurrecting an individual that was once dead. which gives kind of mystical imagery and seems troubling, especially from a christian religious perspective im semi familiar with of âonly god can do thatâ
but whats actually happening is that the genome from preserved mammoth remains is synthesized, implanted into an elephant embryo, and carried to term in an elephants womb who would then give birth to a mammoth. you could do the same thing by implanting a wolfâs genome into a dog embryo. its still an incredible potential, but it sounds a lot less mystical and weird when explained with neutral language
or like a more recent example is this:
like the headline with fucking âhuman/pig hybridâ conjures an image of half human half pig mutants floating in stasis chambers, which seems pretty sci fi and morally corrupt to say the least. but the article is actually jst about research where pig embryos were injected with human cells that successfully survived in the body. thats it. its a pig embryo with human cells in it. its not even that impressive. the goal of this research is to lay the foundation for creating artificial organs to replace the need for organ donation.
but like media reporting on these things is so sensationalistic that people often dont even bother really reading the articles, or rely on intentionally shocking articles from unreliable sources where the entire thing is written in misleadingly dramatic ways, so now we get people thinking scientists are trying to create pigmen so we get outcries of playing god and other moral objections that have no relevance to the material situation at all
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rip my beloved subaru, march 2021-august 2026. saying it succumbed to rust makes me feel like a bad car owner but nobody in texas really understands that northeast road salt eats cars alive no matter how careful you are. can't believe i don't have a better picture of this thing.
listening: cherry lips (go baby go!) by garbage
reading (article): obligatory one month without social media on my phone substack essay by kate wagner
reading (book): the everlasting by alix harrow. a review i read was like "what if brienne of tarth and milo disneyslegendofatlantis got together?" and yeah
watching: Devil Girl From Mars (1954, dir. MacDonald). so strange. wish i liked it. plus a long digression about cowboyfic.
playing:...fallout 3
making: car shopping :(
listening
how did i find this? background music for an equestrian on instagram who does very funny reviews of horse books but most of her content is about riding actual horses. her mare is named ahsoka like the star wars character.
really grungy alt pop. rarely do i fall in love with a song so hard and fast.
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reading (article)
it didn't change my life
from my favorite architecture critic and mcmansionfromhell darling kate wagner. there are so many quotes i want to pull i would essentially be putting the entire article on here.
Beyond this weird attitude towards reading and oneâs other preoccupations, many of the depictions of phone life made by phone detox content are just straight up kind of ridiculous. Paragraphs upon paragraphs are spent detailing the hard and brutal struggle to put the phone down in a way reminiscent of the gonzo addiction memoirs that were popular in the mid-2000s. When the task is framed as, for lack of a better term, fentanyl-esque, would you, personally, want to attempt it? It doesnât take a cognitive scientist to realize that when we expect something to be extremely difficult, surprise, our brains tend to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy.
being on my dang phone at work is something i really struggle with. i feel like most of the time i am just killing time here until i get enough time to get my student loans forgiven and get my pension fully vested. this job is a good movie financially but not so much for like. upward career mobility. i see a lot of the very worst of people at this job. i am trying to counteract that with more volunteering but there is a lot of inertia. both in me and my community.
back to the phone, where activism and community building mostly do not happen. i can and will lose literal hours to instagram, which is not good for my blood pressure and is much much much harder to curate and train than any other social media's algorithm i'm on. mostly it wants to sell me supplies for cat fostering, quack cures for mcas, eds, and """""""neurospicy""""""" hacks and supplements. this does not make me feel great. my rss feeds make me feel slightly better (depending on the feed) but i am perpetually caught up on my rss feeds. tumblr is much a more curated and fun place, but i can only go so far down my dash before the app crashes and very few mutuals are active when i am at work.
shocker, i do feel better and more settled when i am actively doing something (chewing through my physical tbr, knitting and listening to podcast or audiobook, working on citizen archive stuff, writing postcards, etc). and then i have stuff to actually talk about for the tuesdayposts, which is the whole point of the tuesdayposts, bc i feel better when i am poking around in a bunch of different formats of things every week. i need a lot of variety in my input and i need a lot of passive social interaction, neither of which i have been giving myself lately. i am a terrible zookeeper.
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reading (book)
the everlasting by alix harrow.
From Alix E. Harrow, the New York Times bestselling author of Starling House, comes a moving and genre-defying quest about the lady-knight whose legend built a nation, and the cowardly historian sent back through time to make sure she plays her partâeven if it breaks his heart.
Sir Una Everlasting was Dominionâs greatest hero: the orphaned girl who became a knight, who died for queen and country. Her legend lives on in songs and stories, in childrenâs books and recruiting postersâbut her life as it truly happened has been forgotten.
Centuries later, Owen Malloryâfailed soldier, struggling scholarâfalls in love with the tale of Una Everlasting. Her story takes him to war, to the archivesâand then into the past itself. Una and Owen are tangled together in time, bound to retell the same story over and over again, no matter what it costs.
But that story always ends the same way. If they want to rewrite Unaâs legendâif they want to tell a different story--theyâll have to rewrite history itself.
my bestie really twisted my arm about this bc i do Not like time travel or time loops. this is a book where everything is fine the whole time :) this is a book that will not hurt you :) come closer :)
BIG gruff canonically bisexual lady knight and her pathetic little. bard? historian? follower? her guy. deal with colonialism, fealty, loyalty, and PTSD together. not a straight book. not a hetslop book. sort of hetero plus. it has been so so long since i have read a good queer book written recently. this is partially bc queerness is not the focus of the book. it didn't save anything but it sure fucking was there.
one of THE most fascinating villains i have ever read. i do support womens' wrongs i want to read more about them.
@dying-suffering-french-stalkers there is a sort of weary closing a restaurant, putting the chairs up, and turning the lights out behind you vibe i think you would really love. a dogged determination to witness the very end of something.
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watching
Devil Girl From Mars (1954, dir. MacDonald). not good. not good! i must agree with 12-year-old octavia butler who said to herself "i can write something better".
REMARKABLY horny for a fifties british movie made for about five pounds. the titular devil girl from mars, in pvc and silk stockings and high boots (i wish she had a crop, but she does have a large and weird robot control device, as well as a raygun) is on earth to capture men as breeding stock. bc the matriarchal population of mars isn't doing too good. they are several centuries post-overthrowing their old society so they managed for quite some time! occupies such a weird niche in film and feminist history.
a youtube channel i follow restores the wackiest selection of older movies and this one was one of their recent projects, which means you can watch the entire thing right on youtube.
i think this movie would be a big hit in a very far-off part of one of my fics. i don't know when i'll ever return to writing about fallout: new vegas. i think i would have to completely rewrite it. i think (i hope) i have become much better at identifying story elements and writing techniques that work for me, and i don't know that this fic really serves me or what i wanted to get across any more.
but my loose plan for the first half of "blow a kiss, fire a gun" was courier six not contending with the fact she can't do shotgun diplomacy any more, responding VERY poorly to separate NCR and legion remnant plots, stalking down the strip with a missile launcher and causing a lot of damage. therefore, the "you're a hero but you have to leave" sequence, taking the boys up to salt lake city to see about solving the salt shortage in a more permanent way and establishing a better trading route (skirting around zion). goofs and hijinks and falling into rivers and such. i had such a plan in my head for salt lake city, including a very old legion diplomat and a very old NCR diplomat across the street coexisting with each other, but it would end with the denver dome sending an airship to pick her up for negotiations (is there a fight on top of the airship? yes of COURSE). i think the denver dome is a matriarchal society full of lesbians who don't quite keep slaves, but men are definitely a severely curtailed underclass. aesthetically they are much more art deco and much more engineering as a representative profession for social improvement through technological progress. i think it would be neat for six to reckon with the fact that she's been sort of blowing off old world problems as problems caused by boys, and seeing that a matriarchal society is doing just as bad would make her think. i also think slamming her against second-wave feminism would be interesting and funny.
anyway, they'd be very impressed with her TWO wives and TWO subservient men. if she gets back to vegas alive she's going to have a lot to talk about with arcade.
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playing
playing fo3 is making me want to play fo4, which (to me) is a very elaborate settlement sim and a bunch of space on the way to maine and nuka cola world. todd how did you fuck up so bad. the bones of an interesting thing are here but it's so fucking empty. every time i talk to an NPC i get nothing funny or useful or interesting. WHY IS IT ALL SLAVERY, TODD??? how come the biggest quest is paradise falls??? how come i can't do anything about charon??????
however, it is so good minute-to-minute at making me want to keep playing it!!! infuriating!!! it's been so long since i played and so much of it Looks like fnv with regards to interior textures, i am so convinced that the next metal box i open will have something good, or the next mostly-destroyed building will have a terminal with some interesting entries. i would settle for a funny little tableaux that does not involve a gnome or a toy or a toilet. the most interesting thing i have seen so far is sometimes a dead raider in the metro will have scattered stimpaks around, like they were trying to heal before succumbing to mirelurk.
again. fallout would be so good if it was good. what if there were more ghouls. everything with underworld is so much more interesting than megaton or rivet city and they feel so much more like real people than almost anywhere else. the brotherhood in this one might as well be little cardboard shadow puppets.
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making
shopping for a car is second only to moving for "most wretched drawn out expensive and fuck-up-able" activity known to man
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