Grace who sees Stratt as this intimidating unknowable force of a woman, who even if he does things reluctantly or with complaints he does them because she asked and what the Fuck else is he supposed to do?? She's Eva Stratt! She kidnapped him to the ocean! She's kind of a scary woman. But then he walks into her office, needing her signature on some requests for new equipment imports, but he can't get that signature because she's asleep. She fell asleep on her desk, her neck at an uncomfortable angle, papers sticking to her face from sweat she hasn't had the time to wash away because who has time for hygiene when you're the dictator of the world? And she's in the same clothes that she's been in for a week, her eye bags look deadly. And Grace sees it, for the first time he sees that weight, he sees her. And in her he sees all of the students he's had who fell asleep at their desk from running too thin, the kids who had stuff going on at home that they held inside themselves, the kids who ate in his classroom because they had nowhere else to turn to for company, the kids who felt the need to carry the world on their own despite being so small. All the students he couldn't really help but tried. He decides he needs to take care of her like he now realises she's been taking care of him, been taking care of everyone on the vat.
When Eva wakes up there's a blanket around her and a steaming thermos of herbal tea, a post it on it that reads
"Hope you like earl grey :)
Get some real sleep, captain. I can keep everyone in check for a few hours, trust me.
And she doesn't trust him. Not totally, but she appreciates him, and she's watched the unesco conference footage, so she knows that he actually can keep everyone in check if they need it. It's a small gesture, in comparison to everything going on, but it means something grand to her. She does like earl grey, she mentioned that to him once, she doesn't know if he chose it for that reason, if he remembered (he did) or if it was just because they had a decent amount of it on the ship, but she appreciates it. She recognises the blanket too, they commandeered it from Grace's apartment when they moved him, it was a cozy throw blanket with the periodic table on it, she remembers Grace said it was a gift from a graduating class. It meant something to him, and he trusted it with her.
Over the next few weeks she notices a change, Grace smiling more around her, standing nearer, there's something different in the way he looks at her, it's no longer just for directions it's like he expects her to ask for directions or something, a kind guiding patience in his gaze. It confuses her but she likes it, it's nice, but It's also weird. He keeps doing it, keeps handing her things so she doesn't have to reach, bringing her random snacks and drinks, asking her how she's doing, if she's slept, if she's hungry. He sits in her office a lot more, he even has his own little work space in there now. Sometimes he'll yawn dramatically, stretch his arms over his head and ask when the two of them are turning in. She'll insist he can go to bed before her, but he'll insist he won't, something about it not being fair, he'll say Stratt needs sleep too, that he worries about the integrity of the ship if their captain isn't well rested. Eventually she'll relent, just because she knows what he's doing, and she knows he's stubborn, so she gives in and says she'll sleep but only for a few hours (she ends up sleeping 13) it always works and she kind of hates it. But she's tired too, and for some reason him noticing that makes her happy.
He makes jokes, he smiles at her's. They eat together, even when Eva wasn't planning on it, Grace brings her a warm meal and sits with her while they eat together and reminds her of her food when she gets distracted with her work. They get along, they take care of each other. Grace is there for her. She ends up feeling like she can rely on him, she decides not to dwell too much on how reckless that is for her. She even delegates certain important tasks to him, anything related to the lab gets delegated to him, she would usually have to ask him what half of it meant either way, so now he signs for anything lab related, and it's a load off her and even though Grace complains sometimes she knows he doesn't mean it, because whenever she asks him to hand the papers to her instead than, he shakes his head harshly tucks the papers to his chest like they're precious to him and says she's not allowed to fire him because he's good at his job. She'll smile softly, nod her head, say he is very good at his job, and smile even wider when he refuses to take the compliment he just gave to himself seconds ago.
They get along, she trusts him. When Stratt feels down she opens the locked drawer in her desk and looks at that post it he gave her that first time months ago with the tea, now accompanied by a ton of other post its Grace has left her. She trusts him, he's there for her, she can rely on him and she trusts that feeling now too.
And then there's an accident. "You're murdering me!" It hurts, it hurts like fucking hell. He said no. She can't rely on him, but she needs him. She needs him now more than ever. The world needs him. "I'll sabatoge the mission!" And they can't rely on him. And it hurts like hell. So she gives him amnesia, she erases everything, she forces his hand, she murders him. He'll be remembered as a hero. He was already one to her, before he went to space. He was her friend. She trusted him. She knows he trusted her too, he trusted her first. And now she has to erase that trust, she has to erase everything between them, all of those late nights, all of those shares meals, shared smiles, that warmth. Even though she's only erasing it from Grace's memory, she feels like she's erasing it from herself as well. She feels cold, maybe it's the dying sun, but she suddenly feels so very cold in Grace's absence. And underneath it all she still trusts him. And it hurts like hell.
snowghoul
ellievsbear
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
