Sburbatory

we're just normal men

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

Oh are there people who don't know this mess of a movie has the all time most spectacular final wizard battle in the fantasy genre??

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

@thatdykepunkslut

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

The horse says, "I think I'm about to be homeless." The bartender, who now feels a little bad about the joke, says, "Oh, man, that sucks. What's going on?" The horse says, "It's the job market. It doesn't matter how good I am at SEO optimization. No one wants to hire a horse. The moment they look at my resumé and see the name 'Brushstroke', into the trash it goes." The bartender says, "Really? I had no idea." The horse says, "And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking why don't I just apply for horse jobs instead? Well, for the first few months I wouldn't. It was a matter of principle. I didn't become the first in my tailine to get a degree in computer science just to end up pulling a cart. But lately, I've given in. Because my saving's are running out, and my kids can tell that something's wrong. So now I'm doing interviews to let drunk tourists ride me, and the pay is peanuts, and you know what? I'm still not getting any offers! It's all going to younger horses!" The bartender says, "That must feel awful." The horse says, "You can't imagine! It's eating me up! People are trying to help, but they can't. They can only offer a couch for a few weeks or only a place for me, not for my family. It's like, every morning I have to come home to my husband and my two kids and tell them I'm not good enough to support them! I'm already having to juggle debt to handle his medical expenses, and then... then there's just the shame of it. I was sired for this! I was bred to do it! And I can't! I just can't pull it off!" The bartender says, "Wow. I don't know what to say." "I know," the horse says. "I just need to find a place that's stable."

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu