"It doesn't have to be perfect." Okay, maybe for YOU, but I, the perfectest human being who should be excellent at everything I do, am an outlier and should not be counted

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@ofwordsandwaltzes
"It doesn't have to be perfect." Okay, maybe for YOU, but I, the perfectest human being who should be excellent at everything I do, am an outlier and should not be counted

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Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!
Movement nudge!
X
I LOVE THIS GUY.
All those "spend just 35 minutes doing a bunch of really hard exercises and you'll feel great forever!" videos are really discouraging. I usually end up doing like, 2 minutes of some of his while waiting for my shower to heat up, and ykw?
That's 2 minutes more than I would have done otherwise.
oh hey I have a thing like that last one that I like to do sometimes, but I do it lying down in bed. it's a very satisfying pop/shift in my hips/lower back, but doesn't always work. maybe I will try his version and see if it is more effective for me
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
Taylor swift has fallen down into a scary hole
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I DONT CARE ABOUT TSWIFT BUT IF THE SCARY HOLE GETS A TASTE FOR HUMAN FLESH I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!
sorry. i'm catastrophizing and sensationalizing. we have to be calm and think smartly pretty about this
Its ok taylor swift flesh is probably very different from human flesh :))
hey. okay. yeah you must be right. its probbaly more like plastic and oil or something. okay. relaxing. this might be good for us
The scary holes have started oil fracking
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

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my most Millennial trait is that i want big screen to think properly. to compose my thoughts. app exists for your thing but no website? bad bad bad not good for think, need big screen for think. i wrote this post on the small screen btw
Haha you don’t know how happy this would make Louis(my friend featured in my videos) he loves lonely island 🥹
up next, the triangle.
we know what hole that goes in, right?
that's right, the square hole!
"average small seaside town has 3 curses on it" factoid actualy just statistical error. average small seaside town has 0 curses on it. Widows Bay, Located in New England & who’s residents experience the horrors everyday of the week, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
my controversial opinion is I don’t think Zuko was confused by “my first girlfriend turned into the moon”
he was there during siege of the North. he infiltrated the spirit oasis. he has an uncle who studies spirits and the spirit world. he watched the sky go dark then the moon suddenly reappear like everyone else in the entire world did. and most importantly he watched zhao get eaten by a giant godzilla fish spirit.
his entire life since he saw that beam of blue-white light in the south pole has been ‘this day has already been so goddamn weird’
The only really new information was that that was Sokka’s girlfriend
Important opinion in the tags that I need to have be part of the post:
Also, Iroh was there? He literally watched Sokka make out with the moon spirit. And you want to tell me that a romantic sap like him would not have immediately told Zuko about this romantic tragedy? Please, Zuko has known about this for ages, he just knows that this is not an acceptable situation in which to say “yeah, I know.”
Sokka: “My girlfriend turned into the moon.”
Zuko: “I know.” “Yes.” “She sure did.” “Uh huh.” “Tell me something new.” “Are we still talking about that?” “That’s rough, buddy.”
[image: tags by samwisethebold: #it’s not that he doesn’t get what sokka means #it’s that how on earth do you respond to that]
When you put it like that, this is actually a legendary display of tact on Zuko’s part

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a number of years ago when I was at Boy Scout Camp, someone shared this bit of trivia. Within days, it had become a competition, the entire camp overrun by elbow licking. See, the thing about it is, if you're aware of the licker, you can feel it. But if you don't know someone is doing it, you legitimately cannot feel the lick. So for the rest of the week, you'd spot kids sneaking up on each other, attempting to lick elbows unnoticed. It was wild.
When my younger siblings were still 11 and 8, our family stayed in a couple of cabins with four other families who had kids in the same age group. So there were a dozen or so kids running around living their best feral lives, and licking elbows became The Activity—double prestige if you licked an adult’s elbow.
So that’s why a bunch of parents rubbed jalapeño juice on their elbows
…and why our family still says ‘these elbows are spicy!! You have to sniff them first!’
This is an awesome use of what is probably a master's degree if not a doctorate and I am 100% thrilled that she shared it even though it was embarrassing and she squeaked.
Thank you, adorable scientist, for making people's lives better.
As an Australian, THIS WOMAN IS A FUCKING GODSEND.
Californian (sup, fellow desert-havers) i've been using this since i saw it and it works so fucken good dude (i often have to put like 8 dogs in my car, so it's extra important my car isn't attempting to go super-nova when we get in)
I'd seen this on instagram earlier and tried it one time this summer and there was indeed an old man staring at me when I did it. It was so uncanny, just like in the video, I am doing a weird rip-pull on the car door and then look over and there is an old man staring at my strange behaviour and I just go sit back in the car. Life imitates art.
I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.

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hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.
Hello, tumblr! I saw something on here the other day that worried me, so I decided to Do Science about it. But I can't do it alone: I need your help to build the dataset!
Here's what I need you to do:
If you see a post with a "mature content" label, and it's 2026, DM me a link to the post.
Yes, that's really it.
I am hoping to collect several thousand such posts, so that I have a decent sized dataset. I do not care what the post is about; if it's labeled as "mature content", I want to add it to my dataset.
If I get 10,000 posts in my dataset before August 31st 2026, I will post my preliminary findings then. I won't feel comfortable calling my findings "settled" before 2027, unless I get over 50,000 posts.
Tumblr Science FAQ, round 1
What's your hypothesis, OP?
I am not talking about that unless I have results to share. That would bias the results.
I did write them down and I did share them with a trusted contact who can prove that I wrote them down the same day I made this post. (While I did so before I made this post, I am not sure they will be able to provide proof of that, because I did so on the same day.)
OP are you interested in...?
Do you have to click through to see the post? Does the clickthrough contain the words "mature content"? Then yes.
OP are you interested if the post is about...?
I am interested in the mature content labels, not the content of the post. Is there a clickthrough that contains the words "mature content"? Then yes.
Tumblr Science FAQ, round 2
Should I reblog this for reach?
Yes, please. I felt really silly when I noticed I forgot to include that in the original post.
Is it okay if I send you my own posts?
Yes, those are perfect for what I'm looking for. I actually need to do some processing on a post to make it useful for testing my hypothesis, and this makes it easy.
Are you looking for "potentially mature content" also, or just "mature content"?
I want both, please. Anything that throws up a blocking screen that you have to click through. The distinctions between them are one of the things I am hoping to study.
Does it matter when the post was made originally?
Technically no. There's no way to respond to this without introducing some bias in the results, and I don't want that. However, I do collect some data on a post as part of making it useful to me, and that data is easier to collect if the post is recent.
What if I request content label review on a post after I send it to you?
I need to see the mature content label to be able to use the post. Because the mature content label hides the content of the post, it is very hard to use a post that no longer has a mature content label. You could send me a screenshot, but people could use that to lie to me.
Basically, it's more work for you to make it usable to me.
OP are you a transphobe? It would ruin the experiment for me if you're a transphobe.
I promise I'm not a transphobe and not doing this for transphobic reasons. You should still double-check that I'm not a transphobe for yourself, though. I am not sure that this study will have the useful effects you're hoping for; I am studying something specific, and it may not be what you hope.