bugs are your friends

i feel like we can’t really talk any shit about birds who get tagged by scientists becoming extra desirable to other birds bc like imagine if someone was abducted by aliens and given a mysterious unbreakable bracelet. and then when you ask them about it they get this complicated and distant look in their eyes and admit they don’t know what it is but the aliens put it on them and they can’t take it off no matter how hard they try. and you go oh that must have been terrifying and their expression softens a bit and they say it was, but it made them realize just how precious our brief time on earth really is, and they don’t know when they’ll be taken again but it’ll probably be for good this time so until that day they want to live every moment to the fullest, watch every sunrise, cherish every beautiful thing. then they reach over and gently pluck a fallen leaf out of your hair, and for a second you’re distracted by the dazzling shimmer of the cuff around their arm but then you realize they’ve been looking at you with this soft sort of smile on their face so you lean closer and idk the point is i think it would work on us too probably

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

I work in landscaping and the image of having to move snails out of my way but now they’re big™️ is cracking me up

it is just obvious to me that if you opened your eyes for even one second you would realize that Big Sweat invented the idea of going outside in the summer to make you produce more sweat

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

If you use baby wipes go check them NOW. A lot of Burkholderia bugs are antibiotic resistant so infections can be really difficult to treat.