im a 20 year old transfem on hrt for 5 years now but i still feel like a constant wreck & every moment i publicly exist feels like im raping society with my presence, i thought i would have my life and such together by now but i guess i was too young then to realize that hell is a warm blanket compared to reality.
anyways i just wanted to send this ask because i look up to you and such, & wanted you to maybe feel a bit better knowing your life experience isnt one thats felt alone.
we love you!
it gets better! the transmisogyny doesn't necessarily get better with time, at least not on its own, and so we must continue to fight for a better future for ourselves and our sisters, but the ability to survive it does get better over time if you work at it! seek whatever scraps of joy you can, cultivate a love for yourself and your sisters, and know that the reason you feel this way is the fault of a transmisogynistic society, not a fault with you. existing in public is morally neutral
I've been thinking lately that, in terms of adulting milestones, transfems tend to be like 5-10 years behind our peers. we're climbing a much steeper hill, and so it will take us more time. it's hard not to blame yourself for being "behind." it took me a long time to stop doing that. it's easy to compare yourself to people with easy climbs. but if you surround yourself with transfems, the truth becomes clear: the climb is hard and it's steep
sometimes you slip back and you'll despair about losing progress, but the footholds you found last time will still be there--the strategies, the skills, the coping mechanisms, the knowledge of what works for you and what makes you happy. slipping back becomes an opportunity to apply what you've learned, and if you do that you'll be back up sooner than you realize
I'm sorry it's so hard and I'm sorry it's not fair. but I believe in you, and let's work to make it less hard for ourselves and our sisters
