goose noises

“All milk is fine, caffeinated and not caffinated i’m game, hot and iced both work, it can be coffee or tea or anything.”

#oh and they start making a mystery drink for me every time I walk in the door now and the baristas will argue on who gets to make the drink

#when the manager I've never seen before went 'are you (full first and last name)' and thanked me for the review I was so happy #THEY PINNED IT ON A BOARD BEHIND THEM SO I SEE IT EVERY TIME I ORDER COFFEE NOW #AAAAAAA

What do you mean birbs can't pout they don't even have a mouth they just-

(Our brains are so good at categorising experiences, that normally, as soon as we experience something, it’s absorbed, and no longer surprising; how delightful to find that we can be surprised by animals again!)

But it also helps you to pick out what’s REALLY inherent to the animal, what pieces of gesture and motion (obscured by colour, pattern or our own familiarity) are actually integral to the understanding of the true Beast….

Gravity Compliance Division

8154 Drivel Ave.

Gimmick, Tumblr

February 25, 2025

NOTICE: FIRST WARNING

Dear @foldingfittedsheets

It has come to our attention that your monthly gravitational usage has exceeded the suggested limit. Our analysis notes a 23% increase from last month's usage, placing you 14% over the suggested limit.

We at the DGC take the environmental concerns surrounding gravitational usage very seriously, but it is common for consumers to exceed their limit occasionally. As this is a first warning, there are no penalties involved as outlined in our departmental guidelines. We simply ask that you try to be more mindful of your usage in the future, as increased demand puts a strain on planetary resources. We've included some helpful tips below.

Activities that may be increasing your usage:

Repeated incidents of struggling to get out of bed (classified as gravitational resistance)

Repeated incidents of objects falling from your hands (classified as gravitational hoarding)

Statements such as "I'll just sit down for a moment" or "Just a quick nap" that devolve into much longer periods than originally stated (classified as gravitational dependence)

Thank you for your patronage.

If you feel this violation was sent in error, please submit an appeal letter to the DGC.

Sincerely,

Joshua T. Maile

Senior Compliance Officer

Department of Gravitational Conservation

Please do not attempt to circumvent this notice by floating away, as it is a violation of your contract and is punishable by orbital banishment.

Look Joshua,

I know it’s not your fault but the bureaucracy I’m dealing with lately is astounding. I have a waiver due to my chronic fatigue that allows me leeway on both GR and GD. You need to check with other departments before sending these things, it’s just careless.

Best,

And if you can stay in your seat but are constantly bouncing a leg, clicking a pen, tapping out a rhythm on your thigh, or otherwise fidgeting, the answer is, yes, you do have trouble staying in your seat.

Turn ON the sound