The Lights You Make

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...

ID / TL;DW: young Black man explains the history of voodoo dolls: they originated in England, where Black people where prohibited from learning to read or write, to help witches keep track of what ailed their patients. Eg., person goes to witch and laments headache, they treat their headache and make a small doll (called "poppet"), trying to represent them as good as possible, stick a needle in its head and put it up a shelf. When they return next week, the witch takes their poppet and asks about their headache. If it's gone, they remove the needle, otherwise they know they have to treat a rather persistent headache.

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

i used to understand summer preferrers i used to see where they were coming from but frankly in 2026 its just an inexcusable position to hold. you think any of this is okay? you sicko?

I can never watch a conversation again without this post following me around

DONT FORGET THE HUNCHED OVER STOMPING WALK THAT THEY DO IN LIKE EVERY CUT SCENE WHERE THEY WALK UP TO SOMETHING

Bioware did one hour-long mocap session for knights of the old republic in 2003 on a budget of $3.25 and never again since.

i miss vhs tapes and cds i miss feeding my computers and tvs yummy treats. now theyre eating nothing. theyre being born without mouths