Takes the dick meat right off the bone

settings > wound > my wound > reopen

Ryan reynolds pisses me off so bad

He's like a car commercial that turned into a real guy

unfortunately I am not attractive enough to identify as a hot mess but I am definitely a room temperature inconvenience

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

everyone with heat intolerance deserves 100 million dollars directly out of a billionaires bank account