Takes the dick meat right off the bone

me, who is chroncially ill with multiple don’tfeelgood Conditions: I just don’t feel good and I don’t know why

me, who has chronic pain and multiple irreversibleouch Conditions: I am in so much pain today and I don’t know why

the average person with bad taste can be into some extremely banal garbage but when you get close enough to someone with otherwise good taste that they start a recommendation by going off on a preamble about how they don't necessarily recommend it you know you're seconds away from hearing about some real torturously wretched dogshit

friend from work will have you watch a two hour movie where you can feel every second as it passes by, but enemployed movie mutual will put you on the kind of shit that feels like crawling on cobblestone until emaciated

people are reading this as the latter friend recommending dry, pretentious cinema. that's not the case. not that kind of situation. you're getting no enrichment out of this. I need you to understand they're making you watch Gooby because "it's kinda good"

Not to insert myself here but as someone who owns Ghost Rider 1 and 2 on DVD I do actually need everyone to watch it right now because in the second one a kid asks Nick Cage as Ghost Rider how he pees and Nick Cage says “it’s like a flamethrower” and then they hard cut to a CGI skeleton in full black moto leather pissing a jet of fire and then it does a shoulder check at the camera and nods like “hell yeah brother”

Devastating! Art museum gift shop doesn’t sell prints of specific and unpopular painting that struck a cord with you!

as a woman you're always too young or too old for things because the perfect age is when you're a man

man if you're disabled you've GOT to find some way to make your fuckass body a source of pleasure whenever you can. jacking off. eating good food. wearing soft clothes. kissing an animal on the head. whatever you can do

Leather fetishes are back in cuz everything is polyester these days.. touching real HQ material in 2026 is enough to give anyone a little sexual zing

i love sluts i love perverts i love dykes i love faggots i love aromantics i love freaks i love librarians i love ibuprofen

Have been watching the tree swallows for ~3600 years. Wonderful. May we get another ~3600.

can i be honest tho i kinda hate makeup bc i love licking my lips and rubbing my hands on my face like a cat or a fly annd i also love wiping my eyes like a sleepy infant all the time so basically i cant do it

this one is for retail workers *hits all customers with my honda*