Takes the dick meat right off the bone

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

"Colleagues, I am pleased to share..."

"Yes, you actually need to read the articles you find before including them in your research paper!"

"Reviewed and approved."

“What’s the message [or information or feeling] we want people to walk away with at the end of this?”

"clearly more research is required"

"Please see attached."

“As noted below,”

“If your schedule changes between now and then, please be in touch with me directly”

Your left hand. Your LEFT hand. Your OTHER left hand.

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.

I know you’re sad. But drink your fucking water.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.

FAT WOMAN FRIDAY