i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

he sleep

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

yo nothing will EVER be as batshit in star wars as whatever the fuck was up with darth maul. no questions no answers. so he's split in half & falls down into a never-ending portal. ok, cool. following so far. & tHEN. not only does he miraculously SURVIVE THAT (???)––meanwhile, SOME sith have to have metal organs stuffed into their shellacked shells of life support slash body armor but maul gets straight up shishkebabed through all the important places in COMPLETE SEPARATE HALVES, & can just roll with it. ok. huh.––but THEN. he gets miraculously zoomed away from naboo like st. john's body flying through the winds to santiago de compostela all the way to a garbage dump ten feet underground on an entirely DIFFERENT PLANET, which. ok. inchresting. but NOT ONLY THAT, but maul SOMEHOW accumulates eight extra legs (8!!!! 4+4=8!!!! approximately six (6!!!!) more legs than he requires!!!!) to become some weird landfill mechanical spider amalgam with surprisingly great healthcare despite, y'know, the garbage dump situation. & AFTER TEN LONG YEARS OF LIVING IN A LITERAL HOLE, his long-lost brother (one of TWO long-lost brothers, may i point out) somehow FINDS him on this rando planet that is entirely garbage dump, in a hole, with eight legs, scrawling KENOBI!!!! on the wall in honest to god blood. ok so. one might think: well, where could we possibly go from here? perhaps a rehabilitation center? maury, to deal with the long-lost brother situation? a petting zoo? no. instead, darth maul spends a three-day weekend with a witch who does some bright green toxic joker sludge magic & is then raring to go and build a criminal empire with no after effects re: the vivisection, other then the whole frothing at the mouth KENOBI!!!!!! thing. did i fever dream this? maybe. possibly. what the absolute fuck

Not only that! The witch is his mother and he fights Kenobi fully naked

DAMN ICON