chimpanzees are terrifying but if we teach them language they can be even scarier!
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if i look back, i am lost

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@goldenbedding
chimpanzees are terrifying but if we teach them language they can be even scarier!

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I WOULD PAY TEN TIMES AS MUCH FOR CHOCOLATE IF IT MEANT REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF SLAVES IN THE WORLD? HOW IS THIS ANY KIND OF PROBLEM.
good news, you can! the company’s called Tony’s Chocolonely and their entire purpose is to make slave-free chocolate and reform the chocolate industry.
https://tonyschocolonely.com/us/en
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony%27s_Chocolonely
Whole Foods carries it. If you don’t want to support an Amazon-owned company, World Market carries it. You can also buy it directly from the company.
It’s the best chocolate I’ve ever had and it’s 100% slave free. Tony’s Chocolonely works really hard to push for transparency within the chocolate industry and actually has and is following an action plan to eliminate slavery within cocoa production. They’re good people who make good chocolate.
A list of slavery-free chocolate companies:
Aldi
Aloha Feels Chocolate
Alma Chocolate
Alter Eco Chocolate
Amano Chocolate
Askinoise Chocolate
The Beach Chocolate Factory
Belicious
Black Mountain Chocolate
Cacaoteca
Caribeans Chocolate
Castronovo Chocolate
Charm School Chocolates
Chocolate Cartel
Chocolat Celeste
Chocolate Tree
Chocolate Troubadour
Choconat
Coco Chocolate
Compartes Chocolates
Dandelion Chocolate
Dark Forest Chocolate
Denman Island Chocolate
Divine Chocolate Co.
Eating Evolved
Eat Your Hat
El Ceibo
The Endangered Species
Equal Exchange
Fairafric
Forever Cocoa
Fresco Chocolate
Fruition Chocolate
Gayleen’s Decadence
GEPA Chocolate
Giddy Yo Yo
Grenada Chocolate Company
Grocer’s Daughter Chocolate
Guittard
Habitual Chocolate
Hagensborg Chocolates
Health by Chocolate
Hilo Shark Chocolate
HNINA Gourmet
Honest Artisan Chocolate
Hooray Tuffles
Ithaca Fine Chocolates
L.A. Burdick Chocolates
La Iguana Chocolate
Lake Champlain Chocolates
La Siembra Cooperative
Lillie Belle Farms
Madecasse
Malagasy
Maverick Chocolate Company
Max Havelaar
Mayan Monkey
Mayordomo
Mia Chocolate
Montezuma’s Chocolates
Nayah Amazon Chocolates
Newman’s Own Organics
Purdy’s Chocolate
Omanahene Cocoa Bean Company
Ombar
OpuLux Fair Trade Chocolate
Original Hawaiian Chocolate
Parliament Chocolate
Montevérgine
Patric Chocolate
Plamil Organic Chocolate
Potomac Chocolate
Pure Lovin’ Chocolate
Rain Republic
Rapunzel Pure Organics
Ritual Chocolate
Samaritan Xocolata
Sappho Chocolates
Seed & Bean Chocolate
Shaman Chocolates
Sibú Chocolate
Solkiki Chocolate
Sweet Earth Chocolates
Sweet Impact Fudge
Sweet Riot
Sun Eaters Organics
Taza Chocolate
Terra Nostra Organic
Terroir Chocolate
TCHO
The Chocolate Wave
Theo Chocolate
The Original Chocolate Bar (Houston, TX)
Tobago Estate Chocolate
TONY’S CHOCOLONELY
Vivani Chocolate
Vosges
Wei of Chocolate
Xocolatl Chocolate
Zotter
history fucked me up
oxford was built and operational as a college before the rise of the mayans and cleopatra lived in a time nearer to pizza hut’s invention than to the pyramids being built
I need a noncomprehensive history book that covers Known World History in time periods, like “in this century, all this shit was happening concurrently” and not just all spread out so I have to piece it together like some unpaid uneducated scholar
Mongols were fighting Samurai in Japan and Knights in Europe at the same time.
Star Wars a New Hope came out the same year as the last execution in France by Guillotine.
Abraham Lincoln and Edgar Allen Poe were friends in their early 20′s.
When the Great Pyramids were being built there were areas that still had Woolly Mammoths roaming.
“if goofy is a dog and pluto is a dog why is one a pet” is the cartoon equivalent of “if man evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys”
The implication that Goofy is just a more advanced stage in canine evolution is oddly terrifying somehow
theres no such thing as ‘more advance’ in evolution. a dogman isnt more evolved than a dog, just as you are no more evolved than an seagull or coral, they are just fitted for different environments and have evolved as such
Goofy is not more evolved the Pluto, Goofy just fills a different ecological niche. While Pluto is just a scavenger and Goofy is an apex predator both play important roles in the ecosystem.
Goofy’s a domestic dog, Pluto is a real one.
“Why me? I’m domesticated!” is the deepest rabbit hole of a line in the entire disney canon
Meme Island
other
Somebody do an updated rendition

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Nintendo Switch Health Issues:
Officials at Nintendo have confirmed that the exact layout of the Nintendo Switch controls has caused minor muscle spasms in some players. The “Switch Twitch” is not a serious issue and goes away once a player stops holding the controls.
More serious is an itch caused by handling the cartridges. Due to the inclusion of a bitter coating made to discourage children from swallowing the small cartridges, extended contact with them may cause an Itch.
But the Switch Itch and the Switch Twitch aren’t the only problem. There is also an audio glitch. The glitch only affects players with sensitivity to high frequencies who can hear sounds with a very high pitch. The High Pitch Switch Glitch situation has some players already wanting to ditch the console. But others are okay with the flaws, and are angry at players who complained. According to Nintendo loyalist Mitch Hitchovich, “Anyone who bitches about the Switch Itch, Switch Twitch or Switch Pitch Glitch is a snitch.”
To which afflicted players responded, “Oh, that’s rich.”
www.instagram.com/_estebandiacono
Me and the girls getting a lil groovy :)
I feel like if there was one video out there capable of causing H. P. Lovecraft to eject his soul straight out of his body in horror, this would be it
okay so blackkklansman won 0/4 awards tonight and so i just have to say that, even if the hollywood foreign press association won’t appreciate it, that film was beyond a heart-wrenching, anger-inducing, and tear-causing experience. john david washington and adam driver really gave two of the most layered performances i’ve ever seen, and in doing so explored characters who deeply resonated with so many black and jewish people in 2019 struggling with their identities in an increasingly hate-filled world. so just wanted to say this: thank you to spike lee, the cast and crew, and all the writers for creating this necessary and incredible film.
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”
I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.
Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it.
I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.
“We’re Just Being regular correct” D A M
I stan one (1) card game
I fucking love this game and these people
the power move of castlevania season 2 was making the implication that godbrand makes boats out of people and then never elaborating on that notion

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I beg to differ
This might actually be worse than the infinity stones thing lmao
What was the infinity stone thing?
Marvel Vs Capcom: Infinite Collector’s Edition was suppose to come with cool light up infinity stones but instead ended up shipping with The Infinity Easter Eggs.
Are you shitting me
Somewhere out there is a man who probably bought both of these collectors editions.
Poor blighter
Don’t be afraid to destroy men’s lives over crimes they chose to commit.

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Good stuff.
This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.
ghost choir 👻 🎵
(soundcloud!)