milkwheat !

Dude frying my tendies at the raising cane's has the black nitrile gloves over the hairy forearms this is not good. Puppy's leaking. The situation in my Target boxer briefs is gonna go from Gushers to Go-Gurt real fast here. I'm so horny I deserve to have copper wire snaked through my teeth

If the backrooms post can get a movie then so can this

me trying to flirt: girl do you have excess blood and are sanguine because you look hot and possibly are wet?

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

NEVER be vulnerable. FLUSH your medication down the toilet. LIE when people ask how you’re doing. SUPPRESS your feelings. ALWAYS be irritable and abrasive. MAKE SURE you push away anyone who’s close to you. CANCEL your therapy appointment.

it’s not easy being the naked in the window transsexual neighbor but someone has to do it

oh me wearing this mask in public all the time is actually for the benefit of the public. you see if i were to reveal my face in its entirety i would simply get too much attention all of the time. a mask leaves the remainder of my features to the imagination, where i can be as beautiful or as terrible as the eye deems, until it is removed. also i don't want to get covid.

a lot of you are unclear on what exactly delineates a hard drug vs, implicitly, a soft drug. allow me to simplify it for you: the more insufferable the users of a certain substance are, on average, the softer it is.

adderall ? very soft. weed ? VERY soft. coke is soft also. kratom is hard, unless they post about it on tiktok, in which case its soft. poppers can go either way. quaaludes are soft purely because of the burning jealousy i hold for anyone with access to them. vapes are the softest ever but cigarettes ? cigarettes are hard. do you understand

"but ceci !" you say "but ceci, the delineation between hard and soft drugs is largely societal and based inextricably in bias!" well yes, of course. this system not only takes that into account but is explicitly based within the understanding that this is a bias-led societal designation. note that increased (relative) proximity to societal acceptability results in an increased proximity to annoyingness.

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

lets call in sick tomorrow and go to the natural history museum