avi i GOTTA know about the pidgeon guys. i cant reply back while im in class but i need to know about them
In the grim darkness of the 41st (42nd) millennium, there is only war and fraud.
Essentially, a dwindling chapter of Ultramarines got stuck in the Warp sometimes circa 36th millennium and thought over many of their grievances re: efficiency of resource distribution, system management, the way that Sanguinius's sons get an eternal martyr treatment within the Imperium (don't look at me, we all know they would. They have a literal angel as their father), the fact that all of their old guard still remember when the Emperor blew up planets over being worshiped as a deity rather than a dictator, and go "Fuck it, what if we just fake our chapter's death and come out as Blood Angels/Blood Angel successors and get the resources we never bloody got?" And thus, the first Pigeon Chapter (not their actual name) was born.
As far as the Imperium is concerned, the brave lads were stranded in the Warp sometime after the Heresy but before everything was more or less sorted, so it's not impossible for them to have slipped through the cracks. They found the vessels of the now-dead Ultramarine successor chapter (very very sad, yes yes, moving on now) and managed to return to the Imperium. They've also during that Warp time (according to the records, at least) managed to find some sort of cure for the thirst and rages that plague all other Sanguiniary chapters, and thus don't lose nearly as many of their own to it. (There's secret feather implanting surgery, to show that they're so much his sons that they've inherited the mutation to some degree. They are committed to the grift.)
As far as the Pigeons themselves are concerned, the present-day Imperium sucks arse, but they'll play along to get resources and funding. They like killing xenos, they don't mind rescuing humans, and they like occasionally threatening whatever governor is exploiting any given planet. They're Romans in the sense of Rome being a body that took in a lot of people who didn't wanna be there. For Astartes, they're also jackasses on account of both disillusionment and the knowledge that things aren't going to get better (allegedly of course it's to test that the twin flaws are gone but they are just jackasses at heart). They're great at lying to the centralized government and pretending to be good proper lads when it's necessary, but their 'brothers' of the Ninth hate them for being so crude and for having 'found' a 'cure' and living relatively free. They are very, very good at resource and logistical fraud, and with how stable UM geneseed is, they have little trouble keeping numbers up. Eventually this splits them into two chapters, then more, now totaling 8 or 9, each named after a different type of pigeon.
Overall, relations between the Pigeons and the rest of Sang's kids (read: the actual kids of Sanguinius) are strained. The Pigeons are lowbrow, crude, brew mead, do art that is not considered 'high art' (abstract stuff, sculptures with found objects, rock art, etc etc), and say things like "Have you tried curing the Red Thirst with spreadsheets?" (Actual Sang kid: "...No") "Well go do that. Why don't you try that then instead of just painting over and over again?" (....Resentment.exe)
Their one honest good deed around here is that they will insist any and all human sacrifices happen aboard their ships, at which point they can pull that person aside and offer them a permanent post and relocation to a safer planet for their family as long as they agree to be dead in the eyes of the grander Imperium. As such, all layers of staff have to be treated well enough that no one spills the beans, and everyone is in on the graft.
Why, you may ask, pigeons? 1) Doves (common Sanguinius imagery) are just white pigeons, 2) pigeons are colorful and clever and many, 3) they have a secondary graft going with historians and academics who know anything re: Old Terra to all back them up that pigeons were a noble and valued creature, and how dare you insinuate otherwise.
Screenshots of messages between myself and ahyaab below (blue highlight is the stuff I was sending) and the transcripts of the blue highligts is in the alt text bc most of ahyaab's replies are cheering or keysmashes and those don't mesh well with text readers)
They're horrible people and I love them. Sanguinius would disown them if he knew, Konrad would flay them if he were alive, and Guilliman would either weep or laugh because damn if the grift ain't working for them.
