why are there so many podcasts

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

...the alt text?

i love alt text that itself is a part of the art

I try not to meme on people I don't know, but sometimes they're just straight handing you setups. I once saw a theatre kid accuse another theatre kid's interest in theatre of being performative.

The problem with doing Odyssey adaptations is they already did O Brother Where Art Thou

My dad said to me, son, you can be anything. And I said really dad? Even a woman? And then my dad said no son of mine is growing up to be a woman without knowing how to give a proper blowjob. I spent years of training intensely until my blowjob sensei agreed I was ready, but just as I was about to receive my blackbelt, the blowjob student he had kicked out of the dojob for pride and cruelty returned, and sucked down the master with a single blow. And this is what brings me to your psychiatric practice, Doctor. You have changed, but I know you were the one who slew my master, and now you will meet your fate.

He thought he could best me with his skills, little did he know I can take down seven with one blow.

Cave Mouth perfec t size for put monkey in to p\lay! inside very Soft and Comfort monkey play fun put monkey in Cave Mouth. Put monkey in Cave Mouth. no problems ever in ccave mouth because good Shape and Wet adventure for big monkey brain of need fun and adventure. Cave Mouth yes a place for a monkey put monkey in cave mouth can trust cave for giveing good fun for monkey. friend cave

huge fan of the depth of a good purple but another area that draws me is definitely around aquamarine/turquoise/seafoam. you can not go wrong once the green starts getting just a tinge more blue. a gal could certainly do worse than to pull over there and stay a while

THERE IS A BOAT BY IVAN AIVAZOVSKY!!

I’m sorry MS PAINT????

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.