i love being a lesbian

and my partner is stressed out and they still haven't scheduled her biopsy!!!!!! it's been like a month!!! since they told her she might have CANCER and they still haven't SCHEDULED the fucking biopsy.

i AM grateful we are no longer using a leaking child size toilet and that the dryer works. i AM grateful i have food this week. i AM grateful my younger sibling whose position lost funding has a new job.

i would have more time to be grateful if I had any way to get help with the chores that are such a massive strain on my rapidly worsening physical health. I've started to panic a little sometimes when confronted with my diminished capacity and I'm afraid. I'm very afraid that if this relationship ever ends I will die young after suffering horribly on the street or in an institution. I'm very afraid of being helpless and alone.