Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

It WAS an interesting class. I quite enjoyed it even if it was fuckoff early in the morning. About halfway through the semester the professor, who was an Old Theater Nerd and looked Exactly like you would an expect a 65 year old gay theater dude to look, announced with some relish that next class we would be watching Rocky Horror Picture Show, and that we could go 'All Out' for the occasion.

This meant nothing to me. I had somehow entirely avoided the cultural zeitgeist attached to RHPS. I knew it was a cult classic and that was literally all. I figured that he was a fan and knew some of the students were and that was all.

The class, incidentally, was filled with exactly the sort of theater/film nerds you would expect to enjoy a film class. They reacted with glee. Someone asked if they could come in costume. The professor said 'of course'. I shrugged this off. I'd worn an elf costume to watch Lord of the Rings in theaters after all.

I was Not Prepared for the next Wednesday morning. I shuffled in with my coffee, half awake, and opened the classroom door to twenty people in costume doing the Time Warp in the front of the room. The professor was wearing a glittery gold tuxedo jacket and top hat. He did have pants on, likely because he was in a Professional Environment. They were also glittery gold.

I stood there in my sweatpants with my coffee, still squinty eyed, and wondered if it was some sort of weird dream and I was about to wake up and have to get ready for class all over again.

"Come on!" One of my delighted classmates yelled. He was dressed like Meatloaf. "Get in the spirit!"

"What." I said, kind of blankly.

This is how they discovered I had no idea what the fuck was going on. "A VIRGIN!" At least three people crowed, even more delighted.

Anyway the rest of that class went Exactly how a midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show would usually go. I sat in my usual place, absolutely baffled, trying to figure out how the fuck this was earning me college credits. I wandered into my literature class later still looking, apparently, like I'd been hit in the face with a very unexpected brick. My teacher, upon hearing what I'd experienced, laughed for a solid 30 seconds.

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

To celebrate this night we found each other, let’s get lost ~