idk man I just like this stuff

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

Maybe if he was a little less fuckable we wouldn’t be in this mess

If AO3 had a slogan

you know what really helps you locate any small paper cuts you might have forgotten you have? putting your hand in a bucket of acid. cool things I learned today

Why. If I may ask. Why would you Do That

I buy citric acid crystals in bulk and mix them with water to make a bath for cleaning aquarium equipment. and then sometimes I reach in with my bare hand to take things out because I am fundamentally the kind of person who would do that

You have. The. Dream job

this is not my job, I just have an aquarium

DO YOU HAVE FISH????

yes that is who lives in the aquarium

this has the energy of a world heritage post

do I come to your blog and curse your bloodline

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

How are my sweetie pees

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

this literally isn't true please stop spreading lies

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days

and are death and the maiden perhaps looking for a third

You may notice that stoning someone is considered violent, but getting stoned is generally a good time. Similarly, getting your shit rocked is usually bad, but rocking someone’s world is almost always positive. This is because we rocks are very nuanced and complex

when i was born a witch cursed me with a spell called youve got work tomorrow. and its irreversible

it's literally all about having a primary public gender and a secondary personal gender

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels