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I'm avoiding it so bad and the pressure is mounting and I know I have to do it eventually.

It's because I have a 35 year old garden tub that is quite literally made of plastic and it's constantly cracking and leaking water into the subfloor and creating mold and rot. We already had this "fixed" once but they kinda scammed us and now it's happening again and my mom wants to just get rid of the whole thing, as do I.

The problem is, I fucking HATE!!!!!!!!! random men I don't know in my house, alone with me, and most especially in my bedroom. I don't know who these men are. There's absolutely nothing stopping them from harming me. And I'm sick of being put in that position.

Also, in general, i feel violated by having strangers in my bedroom. It is such a sacred personal space to me. It's where I spend all my time, it has my dolls and my trinkets and everything set up just for me. The idea of men tramping through in big dirty boots makes me sick.

I just despise it. I've already had to do it so many times, shit falls through, and it's so fucking frustrating. Not to mention if it DOESN'T fall through, I have to rearrange my whole room and remove a bunch of stuff and sleep on my hard as a rock couch for idk how long.

And i don't want random men in my house without me present either. In my room. That is so sickening to me. You never know what they may do.

My mom can never understand how I feel, she thinks everything is fine and not an issue if it's not happening to her. Like ok then come over and be with me