The Law of Equivalent Exchange

July 12, 2001 · the first chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist is released in Japan

― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

i have access to powers and locations that he cannot access independently; he needs my help to navigate the world i've brought him to

i simply found him outside and abducted him one day

there are many cats in the world, but this one is the best and my most favorite. why? because he was available to abduct that morning and for very little other reason.

i have a much greater understanding of this world than him, but he has unshakable confidence in his ability to figure it out and i find that really cute

the power dynamic is fundamentally unbalanced, but i let him have a little audacity. a little combativeness and sass. as a treat.

some humans are needlessly cruel to cats or take them in for a short time before neglecting or abandoning them. but i have chosen to love and guard this one with my life. because i think he's neat.

-Rival Green/Blue takes a picture with your HGSS character because he thinks you’re cool

-he’s also feeling pretty peachy

-Erika talks crud

-someone was like making out or something in Bill’s yard in GSC 

-Giovanni literally ditches his son because he’s upset about a 10 year old beating his butt

-Silver tears a layer of your clothes off

-Children hate Steven Stone because his obsession with rocks is weird

-Prof. Birch runs away from his wife because he thinks she’s a pokemon

-There’s a tv show in Hoenn called the “Hoenn Rangers”

-There’s a magazine about exposed champions

-Characters who act attracted to you usually act the same no matter what gender you are

-Rival Barry gets distracted by a crogunk cutout when the world is ending

-Team plasma + stuff bad for team plasma= plasbad

-N knows the lyrics burn baby burn somehow

-N shouts “that’s an ugly formula!”

- Prof. Birch runs away from his wife because he thinks she’s a pokemon

- Cyrus adds space wallpaper to his office between D/P and Platinum

- Trash grandpa Charon has a secret room behind a false wall containing nothing but household appliances and a diary about hugging pokemon

- Professor Rowan beats up some galactic grunts and lectures them on proper manners when conducting an evil scheme

-Professor Rowan subsists entirely on candy bars

- If you refuse to take the pokedex, Professor Rowan gives you six dialogue boxes worth of “…” and says “I’m a very patient man, I can stand in one spot asking you this question all day”

- Looker is introduced running between lampposts over and over

- Looker refuses to let you leave the town until you get a Poketch, because its ‘secret police style’

- Looker gives you handmade tickets of his own face, covered in glitter

- Looker sits inside a giant paper mache rock for hours in a volcano, just waiting for Charon to come along

- Charon’s evil plan is foiled by being punched in the face by a small frog, commanded by a man in a rock costume

- Looker tells you that removing the Magma Stone summons Heatran, outside the mountain holding the Magma Stone.

- Pouring condiments on trees attracts hexagonal bees

- Actual playboy bunny pokemon

- Actual hedge hog pokemon

- A galactic grunt says “Cosmic energy for the win!”

- The galactic nap room. The entire existance of the galactic nap room.

- You have to talk to 32 people on wifi to turn a rock into 108 evil spirits.

- Team Flare’s employee roster includes Pitbull and a member of the Bee-Gees.

- A concerned NPC addresses Rowan as “old dude.”

- Taking a photo of yourself with a death weapon behind you.

-Team Skull took over an entire town

-Nanu, the kahuna of Ula'ula island, lives in an abandoned police station outside this town with at least 8 meowth

-Colress’s hair

-Grimsley refers to himself as ‘Uncle Grimsley’

-Archie’s zipper unzips past his crotch

-When you beat Maxie his glasses fall off

-You can go on what basically amounts to a date with any of the kahunas

-Zinnia spends half the delta episode trash talking Steven

- Nanu in the background of your champion party. He didn’t HAVE to be there, but he is. Doing the goofy dark z-dance, behind a tree somewhere.

- “Hey guess what?” “I know!” “I didn’t even ask you a question yet…”

- Professor Kukui, a man known to be shirtless all the time, can somehow survive on top of a mountain,still neglecting to wear a shirt.

- Team Skull are the only people in the series to make you pay for a Pokemon Center, and they only do it because they’re broke and have barely any power. They’re not being mean, they’re just low on funds.

- “Where are your from?” Your options to respond are “yes” and “no”

-You move to Hoenn in the back of the moving truck, between the boxes.

-The movers are Pokemon.

-Donuts => portals

-An American train conductor will conduct you through a cave in feudal Japan

-God gives you an iPhone