Alien Enthusiast

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

telling a vampire "youre not allowed in my house anymore" and they get blasted out through the nearest wall

As much as I think it would be fun to have emotive anthropomorphic ears, I also recognize I can barely control my facial expressions. Like hell can I keep from Angry Ears-ing during meetings

I have to reblog this every time because frankly this is absolutely genius prose

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

[Image description: a photo taken with flash in a dark forest. A man with a wide stance is swinging a flaming weapon on a string in wide circles above his head, and the camera has captured its entire arc. In the foreground left, a man holds a katana, ready to fight. In the bottom right corner are the previously translated characters. A deactivated user commented "it's Monday. Let's get it on cunts." End ID.]

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

wait this wasn’t a “poob has it for you” bit?

tubi doesnt have what youre looking for but it does have a lot of things you would never have thought to