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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@flyfreesparrow
LA is so funny cause wym i just stopped at Chipotle and accidentally had a conversation with the producer of Van Helsing 2004 and got to tell him that im clinically obsessed with that movie and he was like “i’ll text the director that right now he’ll love that”
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goodbye boy
I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…
i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers
and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually
okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty
and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling
but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥
I need to press his bruises like it’s his gspot
I’m gonna think about killing myself
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"mmh did you know that creator you like also posts 🔞 content? did you know that? don't you think that's weird? don't you think we should keep this space-"
no. i don't.
i booked a front row seat to the devil's sacrament and you're blocking the view
just go back to the 1660 new england hole you just crawled out of and eat barley for a week to atone for your sins or whatever
i think it's really fun when a rly specific trope is super popular in one particular medium but in other ones it's just totally unheard of. it's the time knife. visual novel players are suuuuper used to death games but many others encountered them for the first time in squid games. the other day my mom showed me all excited the summary of a super original novel she found and it was about a girl who got reincarnated as the main character in her favorite fantasy book
what the fuck is a time knife
CALLOUT POST
I’m pissed off because this book was nowhere near as erotic as tumblr led me to believe:
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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what do you fucking mean the president sucked the president's dick
bubba here means bill fucking clinton. BILL CLINTON
they already peaked with the lighter lighter so. it's all clowns and hardware from here
Might be my best yet
This is it, the best news story (from BBC news):
Ok, so here is the croissant that started all this mess:
When asked about what kind of animal might it be, the woman said: "It's this, oh, what is it called... A lagun!"
The devil works fast, but The Krakow Animal Welfare Society works faster:
They already made a merchandise with an illustration of the lagun - they posted information about it on Facebook on Tuesday evening and by the Wednesday morning everything was already sold out.
My university professors are so delighted about this story that they are writing tons and tons of limericks, moskaliks and lepiejs (those two last genres are very popular, ridiculous and humorous types of short poems, in last decades popularized by Wisława Szymborska) and posting them on official Facebook pages of our university departments, and I am dying of laughter.
Important update on the story: owners of cafés and bakeries in Kraków realized that this wonderful idiocy that took over the country could bring them profit and help animals, and started selling croissants labeled as laguns: i.e. Massolit Café & Bakery is sending 10% of income from selling laguns to the Krakow Animal Welfare Society. Thankfully laguns are selling like hotcakes and bakeries don't plan to stop making them, so the story that started and could quickly die as just another seasonal nonsense transformed into a tool for helping small, helpless, vulnerable creatures, far less dangerous than vicious lagun.
This is how cyptids get started.
When it was discovered that Zalim (ironically meaning, cruel) was in the company of two very young cubs, those at Ranthambore feared the worst: that, as an adult male, he would kill them. Instead, he surprised naturalists with his “motherly” behavior when he took in his twin daughters following the death of their mother.
At this time, science stated that tigers were only as social as mothers and cubs could go and that tiger fathers rarely interacted with their offspring. Zalim changed that when he was witnessed, month after month, caring for his daughters and teaching them how to hunt. Their relationship eventually ceased when the two girls were shifted to Sariska Tiger Reserve and Zalim went on to father another litter with the then-dominant tigress Sundari, the so-called Lady of the Lakes. When she too mysteriously disappeared, Zalim unsurprisingly took care of their cubs as well.
Ranthambore National Park, India Photograph taken via camera trap
let’s subvert gender norms with papa!
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I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)
holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later
A 2025 update
