Purpose is Often More Burden Than Glory

hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly

...how does it taste?

bad

I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

Loki: “Fuck everything!” *Would also fuck everything*

being anti-divorce is so fucking bonkers to me like yeah i think you're morally obligated to stay with some shithead who you hate forever. this is a normal and healthy thing to believe. let's have kids together and force them to grow up being raised by two people who hate each other. yeah this might fuck them up mentally during the most formative years of their life but it's the morally righteous thing to do. if there's one thing god loves it's traumatized children. i'm getting into heaven for sure

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

History is not done with us yet my friend

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

I would have been such an awful protagonist. Would have missed the deadline on saving the world

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

get spooky

how does this appear every june

T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

it’s june

T I M E T O G E T S P O O K I N G Y’ A L L

LEE IT’S JUNE

GAY HALLOWEEN TIME

y’all know what fuckin month it is 😎

It’s pride month everybody!!!!!!

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

it really is crazy that women's clothes don't fit anybody. fat women can't find clothes, skinny women can't find clothes, tall women can't find clothes, short women can't find clothes, big chested women can't find clothes, small chested women can't find clothes. who the fuck are these being made for

we all really resonated with this one huh

nah for real and one more point: where are the comfortable clothes? why do I only see cropped and bikini tops in the shirts area? WHERE ARE THE SHIRTS

no other social media platform has lore quite like tumblr’s

the gods that haunt this place are unlike any others

I just saw a tiktok comment saying that tumblr right now is like a place recovered from being irradiated

Sign outside Tumblr: “This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. …”

id: screenshot of tags reading “the wildlife carries on in the ruins like nothing ever happened”

I like your shoelaces

Thanks, I pulled them out of a stump filled with fae water and now it wards off the President

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

bad media will piss you off good media will heal your soul bad media that couldve been good will ruin your life forever