Lilimar Times Gazette

Entering the world of BDSM can be beautiful, empowering, and healing. But stepping into this world also means stepping into vulnerability. And where there is vulnerability, there will unfortunately always be those who seek to exploit it.

I write this not just as someone who knows the rules, but as someone who has seen the consequences when they are broken. I have witnessed red flags ignored, hearts broken, and gentle souls hurt by people who have no place in the BDSM community. I write this for every person I have seen wounded, and for every kind soul out there still searching for their place. I want to protect you by giving you the armor of seeing the warning signs, and the strength and support to walk away when something feels wrong.

Because it's important to know that not everyone who calls themselves a Dominant or Submissive has earned that title. There are those who will misuse these dynamics to excuse abuse, manipulation, and harm, by disguising cruelty as "kink."

If you are exploring, whether for the first time or after carrying the scars of past experiences, hear me now: You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be cherished. You deserve to be protected.

This guide was created not to frighten you, but to arm you, and to remind you: You are never wrong for protecting yourself. You are never wrong for walking away. Recognizing red flags does not make you cold, suspicious, or “too much.” It makes you wise.

So read this post not with fear, but with the strength of knowing you are worth more than those who would misuse your trust.

🚩 Red Flags in Dominants You Should Never Ignore

Refuses to discuss boundaries, safewords, or consent. A healthy Dominant welcomes clear communication about what you want, need, and do not consent to. If someone brushes it off, jokes about it, or tells you that "real" submission means you don't need a safeword, leave.

Removes aftercare or safewords as a form of punishment. A real, ethical Dominant will never take away your safeword or aftercare as punishment. Safewords are your lifeline, they protect your safety, sanity, and autonomy. Aftercare is vital for your emotional and physical well-being after intense scenes. These are non-negotiable rights, not rewards to be given or taken based on behavior. If anyone threatens to remove or deny your safeword or aftercare as a punishment: Walk away. You are not dealing with a Dominant. You are facing an abuser.

Pushes you into dynamics or activities you haven't agreed to. Consent must be enthusiastic and informed, not manipulated, guilted, or assumed.

Tells you that "good" submissives have no limits. You are not "bad" or "less" if you have limits. Limits are normal, healthy, and necessary.

Demands submission before trust is established. True submission is earned, not taken. A Dominant who pressures you to submit early on is not interested in your well-being, only in their control.

Dismisses aftercare as unnecessary. Aftercare is not a luxury; it's a vital part of ethical BDSM. Your emotional, mental, and physical care matters after a scene.

Demands titles (like "Mistress," "Mommy," etc.) immediately without your agreement. Titles should always be discussed, offered and accepted with consent. They are not automatic or owed.

Becomes angry or punishing when you express discomfort, ask questions, or say no. A safe Dominant will never punish you for advocating for yourself.

Is vague about their experience, references, or past partners. A Dominant with integrity will be transparent about their journey, including mistakes they've done and/or learned from.

Romanticizes or encourages unsafe practices like CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) without deep negotiation and a very strong trust foundation. CNC can be beautiful only when it is deeply negotiated and handled with extreme care. Anyone rushing into it or treating it casually is dangerous.

Plays while angry, drunk, or under the influence. Impaired judgment has no place in BDSM. Ever.

Disrespects your existing relationships, commitments, or mental health needs. A caring Dominant honors all parts of your life, not just the parts they want access to.

🚩 Red Flags in a Submissive

No Respect for Their Own Limits. A submissive who says "I have no limits" or refuses to talk about boundaries is unsafe, for themselves and for you. Everyone has limits. A refusal to acknowledge them shows inexperience, misunderstanding, or emotional instability.

Pushes for Instant Intensity. Asking for intense scenes, dangerous play (like CNC, breathplay, or heavy impact) immediately shows a lack of understanding of trust, safety, and connection. A good submissive respects the importance of pacing and building trust.

Disregards Negotiation. If they rush past important conversations about safewords, triggers, expectations, or needs, it’s a sign they may not be ready for BDSM in a healthy way.

No Safeword Agreement. A submissive refusing to use a safeword because they "want to be broken" or "don't want to stop" ignores that BDSM should be mutually safe and consensual.

Manipulation for Attention. Using guilt, self-harm threats, or emotional blackmail to get more dominance, control, or attention is abusive behavior, not submission.

Treats Submission Like a Transaction. "If I do this, you owe me that" thinking is incompatible with healthy dynamics. Submission is a gift, not a bargain for affection or attention.

Disrespecting Your Boundaries as a Dominant. A submissive who begs for things you have clearly said you are not comfortable with (pushing your own limits) is not respecting you. Dominants have limits too, and they matter just as much.

Fetishizing or Dehumanizing Dominants. Seeing Dominants only as fantasy objects ("you're just a tool for my needs") instead of real people with feelings and needs can lead to harmful, one-sided dynamics.

Poor Communication After Scenes. Refusing to give feedback, withdrawing emotionally without warning, or refusing aftercare conversations can damage trust and connection.

🚩 Dangerous Practices

Ignoring safe calls/check-ins: Especially for early meetings, safe calls (someone checking on you) are crucial.

Edgeplay with no prior experience or safety measures: Breathplay, knife play, or psychological edgeplay should only be explored with extensive education, experience, and deep trust.

Isolation tactics: If someone tries to cut you off from friends, family, or community, they are not protecting you, they are trapping you.

Public play without your clear consent: No one has the right to involve you in kink scenes or exposure without your enthusiastic yes.

No aftercare planning: Emotional and physical care after a scene is part of ethical BDSM. Its absence can leave lasting harm.

No emergency knowledge or tools. Lack of basics like safety shears during bondage scenes, or not knowing how to respond to medical emergencies (like fainting, nerve compression, panic attacks) shows dangerous irresponsibility.

Consent to One Thing, Doing Another. If someone agrees to one act but then escalates to something riskier or unrelated without asking, that is violating consent and sexual assault.

What a Healthy, Ethical Dominant Looks Like

Consistently respects your autonomy, boundaries, and voice.

Communicates openly, patiently, and invites your questions.

Treats your consent as sacred, not optional.

Prioritizes your safety, emotional health, and aftercare needs.

Understands that dominance is service, responsibility, and care, not power for power’s sake.

Grows with you. Listens, adapts, and values your humanity first.

What a Healthy, Ethical Submissive Looks Like

Honors their own limits and communicates them regularly.

Engages in thoughtful negotiation instead of rushing into intense scenes without discussion.

Uses safewords and communication tools responsibly.

Respects the Dominant’s boundaries and humanity.

Owns their emotional well-being.

Approaches submission as a gift of trust and growth.

Values ongoing consent and connection.

True BDSM is based on

Informed and respected consent

Trust and mutual care

Respect for limits

Constant communication

Ongoing negotiation

There is no kink so “hardcore” that it should ever ignore safety or consent. Ever.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not "too much" for having boundaries. You are not "too needy" for wanting aftercare. You are not "too difficult" for wanting to feel safe and respected. You are allowed and encouraged to walk away the moment something feels wrong. You deserve a dynamic that lifts you, protects you, and cherishes you.

And if you ever feel unsure or currently in an unsafe dynamic, reach out to trusted friends, help lines, or community spaces where ethical BDSM is practiced and discussed, for help. You are never alone.

reblog if you believe anon is wrong and writers are writers, no matter what they write about. no matter how they portray these taboo topics.

reblog if you believe art can be about topics that are controversial, taboo or outright disturbing, and artists who create controversial, taboo or outright disturbing art are as valid as artists who create art of conservative values.

Obviously, if you're reading for fun and leisure then don't read things you don't want to read or that make you uncomfortable in the wrong kind of way, but the subject matter has nothing to do with whether someone is or isn't a real writer.

for any address to twitter you can replace the “x.com” with “nitter.net” and you will be able to browse as if you have an account. Lifesaver.

But, Loki's partner gets poached by someone else, a betrayal that cuts his heart as sharply as any knife. He got no warning and was blindsided. But, he isn't one to take something like that lying down. Before she had left to partner with someone else, Loki had been telling his partner recently that he thought what was happening to Mobius was wrong and unfair. He hadn't been pleased when his partner had said she thought the others were right and Mobius needed to retire.

So, Loki contacts Mobius the next morning and offers to be his dance partner. Mobius won't have to retire, and they still had time to come up with something for the next competition which wasn't that far out. And they'll gain a lot of attention because they're both rather famous with a lot of fans. The both of them, being two men, teaming up will definitely make headlines. They'll show everyone Mobius is nowhere near too old, and Loki will show his former dance partner that she had made a foolish and ill-calculated mistake.

And together, they take the dance competition world by storm. And along the way, their sizzling chemistry on the dance floor begins to translate off the dance floor too.

And the more I watch it, the more I see similarities between Charlie (who is ofc played by Owen) and Mobius/Don, it's the quiet confidence combined with that hurt underneath that he is not enough for anyone to love

If I could I would write a Marry Me au for Lokius, bc I really want to explore that hurt side to Charlie's character that is there too in Don especially

These two dummies get into an argument of some kind, and Mobius's petty ass who is absolutely every bit as mischievous as Loki is even if most people don't think so, goes out and purchases a magpie.

He does this because Loki *loves* magpies and because magpies are excellent mimics.

He does exactly this, teaching it these few phrases and those alone. Then he gifts it to his love.

---

Later that same day

---

"I had a visitor today, darling. She'd come to ask after a potion for curing cluster headaches," Loki said, conversationally.

"Yeah? I've heard awful things about cluster headaches. Did you help her?" Mobius asked.

"Of course, my love. But as I was returning from my storeroom, you'll never guess what I heard my new sweet magpie saying to her," Loki replied, giving Mobius a very pointed look.

"Good things, I hope," Mobius grinned.

Loki narrowed his eyes.

There was no chance of Loki getting into trouble or being burned or hanged or having anything else like that happen. This wasn't that kind of timeline. Witches were not persecuted here at all.

However, that didn't mean the look on his client's face was not one of a very alarmed woman listening to something very disturbing.

He hisses as the knife shifts in the wound. He was afraid to remove it. He'd bleed much faster then and he wanted to say this before he died.

"I never got to say this to you while you were here. Things went too fast, I guess. The irony of time moving too fast in the TVA, huh?" Mobius gave a wet little chuckle and then coughed up some blood.

"Maybe that's just an excuse, you know? I was pretty afraid to tell you these things. But since I'm pretty sure this is the end, I just wanted to let you know so that I could clear my own conscience before I go. I love you. I love you so much. I first fell in love with you before we even met. But I fell even deeper when we finally did. I wish you'd trusted me more, maybe we could've had a little more time. But I know you like to do things for yourself, so I don't blame you. I really don't. I do miss you, though. More than anything, I've missed you all this time." He took a breath and found it harder to breathe but not enough to hinder what he was doing.

"But hey, don't get me wrong. I don't need you to feel sorry for me or anything. I know you don't feel that way about me. I know you never did, you were never going to. You never could. What would somebody like you want with some washed-up old man, anyway? All doughy and soft, definitely not a warrior. You deserve someone young and beautiful, like Sylvie," he said, quietly. "I know it was her in the end. I know you did all this for her primarily, and all that. I hope you're happy knowing that she's living her best life right now thanks to you. I mean that, genuinely. I'm sorry that you have to be all alone, but I hope that you get some happiness knowing that she's happy."

He winced this time when he coughed. It hurt more and it jostled the knife and he was pretty sure his lungs had more blood than before in them. That's what was making it hard to breathe. That's what was really making the coughing painful.

He reached up to wipe away some blood from his lip again.

"I wanted to apologize, too. About the way that I acted when I first found out about you and Sylvie. I didn't have any right to do any of that stuff. I'm so sorry, Loki. I'm sorry that I yelled at you, I'm sorry I called you a bad friend. I'm sorry I let you believe she was dead for a while. And I'm especially sorry about that time cell. I should never have reacted like that. It was cruel and unfair. I was the bad friend, not you."

Mobius hissed a little as he shifted his body again. He kept trying to slump sideways and that was doing something to his lungs that was making it harder to breathe and talk while they slowly filled with blood.

"And I don't know if you realized that and forgave me, even though I didn't deserve it. Or if you've just been treated like shit for so long in your life that you accepted it and decided to move on. But I wanted you to hear it before I go. I'm sorry. I should never have treated you like that. You didn't deserve it. I was jealous and what I did wasn't just manipulative, it was abusive and it was terrible of me. I'm so sorry. And don't you fucking forgive me, either. You deserve better than that. Accept that I'm an asshole, okay? I don't deserve you, even if I had a shot which I know I never did. I don't deserve your love, your friendship, or your forgiveness. So, don't you give it to me. I want you to accept it and move on because that's better for your mental health than fixating, which I know is something you struggle with. Fixating on the negative things. But don't do that here. Just accept that I was an asshole and you're better off when you get back here and I'm not here." Mobius insisted.

"Because you will get back here. I know you will. Someday. Somehow. You'll come back. I couldn't wait for you. I tried. But I couldn't, it just wasn't in the cards. But I never once stopped believing in you, and neither has anyone else at the TVA. You take your time and do it right, and when you come back everyone else is gonna be waiting. And so will Sylvie. I bet if you wanted to, she'd let you work at McDonald's with her. You two could be happy together on that timeline. I think you two could be happy on any timeline, probably, but she likes that one the most so...you know," Mobius said.

He gave a wet little chuckle, stained with red. "I think this wound is catching up with my brain. I'm really starting to ramble. I had more to say, I really did, Loki. But I can't think so straight anymore so this will have to do. I love you, okay? I've loved you for as long as I've known you existed and just know that I loved you through the end, too."

As his vision started to darken and his breathing became even more labored beneath the apple tree he'd fallen under when the variant had pierced his chest with the blade right before Mobius caught him with the time stick, he thought for a moment he saw a flash of brilliant green. But his eyes closed and he succumbed to unconsciousness before he could be sure.