someone save me from my own bullshit

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

seeing this image in 2026 is like seeing an old friend who I've dearly missed

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

oh its bad back there.

The fact this isn't a painting is a testament to one of the greatest feats of set design and production I've ever seen.

"your life is yours to mold" oh nooooooooo oh no oh my god. oh fuck me. no. oh my god. oh im so fucked dude.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

t shirt that says I MISS EVERYONE I WAS EVER FLEETINGLY CLOSE TO SO MUCH THAT IT KILLS