Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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@firebvll

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memes that get you unfriended by relatives on facebook
memes that get you unfollowed by randoms on tumblr
Well now I can correctly moonwalk away from uncomfortable situations
Because everyone deserves to know how to do a mean moonwalk.
guYS THIS IS IMPORTANT
I definitely reblogged this sitting down not getting up to do the moonwalk at all
Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead
he accepted ur cold drink!!
the man who owns and runs the thai restaurant in my town knows me by name. he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful men i know. i started ordering from his place back in january, which was when i got my fibromyalgia diagnosis. back then i was using a walker, had limited mobility in my entire body but especially my hands, and was very visibly in pain. i always ordered the same thing: yellow curry with no meat, potatoes and carrots only (i have texture and other dietary issues). he always made it a point to make sure i could get out the door and carry the food safely. he had his workers package the food so that it was easier for me to open. as i kept coming back and i told him a little bit about my health status, he would always encourage me to keep going. he told me about how the spices he used were good for inflammation and began to edit the recipe just for me so that spices that were even better for fighting inflammation were used. he’d give me extra portions and despite the fact that i would tip every time, i realized later that he never charged my card for them. as time went on and my condition began to get better, especially with the help of a physical therapist, he would make encouraging remarks and tell me how happy he was for me. the day i came in without my walker, he practically jumped for joy, and despite my insistence, he gave me my meal for free that day. i continue to make progress with my conditions and i continue to go to the thai place. this man who does not know me personally and who i hardly know anything about is one of my favorite people. it’s interactions with humans like these that make loving life easier. and his curry really does help my chronic condition. it’s comfort food taken to the next level.

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Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way opened to it?
So play like a noob? got it
You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.
Chessmasters when their opponent doesn’t make one of the five approved optimal opening moves:
#used to do shit like this when we fenced#for real tho a newbie is way more of an issue than a master because WHAT are you doing???
I’m currently a fencing coach for a high school club and my least disciplined fencer routinely beats kids who have been fencing for 5-6 years because he’s just so unpredictable and messy that his opponents have no idea what to do.
I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?
I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.
The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.
“The best swordsman on the planet doesn’t fear the second-best swordsman. He fears the new swordsman, because he has no idea what the lunatic will do.”
One of the main reasons fencing against a total beginner can be difficult is that they have no self-preservation. They either don’t know or don’t care to defend themselves the way someone with more experience does, and have no issue leaving themselves vulnerable to make attacks, which breaks down the usual tempo of a fight and puts you on the defensive (because you value your safety), and you don’t want to be on the defensive.
If I had a nickel every time I recieved fencing advise from a trans girl on tumblr with the term catgirl in her url I’d have two nickels! Which you know it’s not a lot but it’s funny it happened twice.
We have a long and treasured warrior history. Google “warrior cats” to find out more
When I fenced (forty years ago now), I was the only left-handed person in my class, so the only person I could drill effectively with was my instructor (who could casually switch hands).
That meant that my technique was AWFUL – but, conversely, nobody could figure out how to defend AGAINST me.
(I also figured out the feint before our beginner class got to that point, and once, I made an opponent just drop his guard entirely by making a finger gun with my off hand and “shooting” him.)
I have to tell you about the Abuela on my street.
She is nearly 70 years old, with wonderfully brown gnarled, wrinkled hands and eyes that are creased from smiling. She hand-makes all of her own clothes and sews dolls for my little sister. Abuela is very lonely… her husband already passed and her kids live far away. She misses her grandkids. Abuela comes around our place for the company almost every other day.
So this morning, my little sister and I went to visit the Abuela to return the kindness of her vegetables with some homemade soup.
It’s a funny joke we have, that if you can make a perfect posole you are wife material. I was joking around with my friend beforehand to see if I was worthy of marriage, and my little sister thinks me failing is the best thing in life, so of course she wants to ask Abuela when we arrive.
We’re wearing masks and gloves and can’t give her the big hug like we want to, but Abuela is always happy to see us. We bring the pot of soup to her table. My little sis, the little shit that she is, immediately asks, “Abuela, is Reina ready to be a wife yet?”
And Abuela immediately shifts her entire mood. Her face literally becomes this:
Abuela’s look pierces through my heart.
“Who are you trying to impress? A man or a woman?” she asks, deadly serious. We have broached the topic of marriage. It is her domain now.
And I, Rei, gay as the fourth of July, cannot believe that either Abuela clocked me instantly or that she could possibly have a fascinating past of her own.
I thought about lying, but my little sister was there and I don’t like to lie in front of her. So I was honest and said I was trying to impress a woman.
Without a response, Abuela carefully tries the posole. The room is silent.
“For a man, it’s good,” she says after a moment. “But, you’ll need to work harder to impress a woman.”
All I can do is politely nod. I have so many questions.
Now Abuela is tired. She wants to eat and relax in peace, so she waves us away. We make sure she’s settled, and then my sister and I go home.
I can’t believe my 70 year old Abuela said BI RIGHTS
this is the funniest fucking thing ever
not only did the grandma say bi rights but like
she had two separate scales of food judgement for men and women AT THE READY and there’s something inherently hilarious in “FOR MEN IT’S FINE, FOR WOMEN DO BETTER”
dream by the sea; big sur, california
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Fluff bunn
(via)

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ma’am could you please take a step back. yes—yes ma’am it’s because of your AOE poison attack aura
ma’am please
Koga: welcome to my poison-type ninja gym. it’s full of jugglers who use psychic-types. fuck you for thinking you know me.
everyone keeps making fun of phoenix wright for interogating a parrot but no one ever talks about how von karma somehow had the foresight to fucking retrain the parrot in advance. how fucking crazy is that. its one thing for phoenix to grasp at straws and ask the judge to cross examine a parrot in the heat of the moment, its another thing for a grown ass accomplished prosecutor to stop in the middle of schemeing to be like... hmm i have tampered with all the witnesses now... but let me just retrain this parrot in case wright calls it to the stand. like, he had NO reason to assume that was going to happpen
It's so messed up that Coca Cola is one of the quintessential symbols of the US globally, a drink sold across the world and known for being refreshing and delicious, but if you actually go to the US and drink it, it tastes like ass.

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Amazing
the “i am from russia” was a warning
I asked a taxi driver in Bucharest to take the quickest route to the airport. 10 minutes later we’re doing 120kph the wrong way done the street car tracks when another taxi tried to pass us and dude just floors it. Never spoke a word, smoked 9 cigarettes over the 30 minute ride, never took off his sunglasses and blasting opera all the way. I look at it as paying 15€ plús tip to lose all fear of death.
the “i am from russia” was both a warning and a promise, and one that would weirdly put me at ease about the situation.
how could you leave this in the tags