im babey

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

"theyll hate you for this" "but theyll be alive" is THE juiciest thing to me

i will ensure you stay alive above all else. even if what i do to make it happen is horrendous. even if it violates all your wishes or moral principles. even if you can never look at me the same way again, even if you hate me for it. because at least if you hate me it means youre alive

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i should make a pet mazda miata in tomodachi life later

one of the most frustrating ways i've found you can be misunderstood is when people think you're horny about the things you're just weirdly fascinated by and weirdly fascinated by the things you're horny about

"omg is this like a fetish for you or something 😅🤣" NOT EVERYTHING IS A FETISH!!! "you have such interesting hobbies" no uh . that one is a fetish actually.

still annoyed my mom threw out my wisdom teeth. you don't just RECYCLE SOMEONE'S TEETH, MOTHER

My sister got our cousin’s baby teeth (both graduated from college at this point) for Christmas and they were perturbed to say the least

always, this website beckons me back with its siren song

yeah the 2020s have been difficult but at least we have the consolation that a single season of modern tv now takes 5 years to make and lasts about 16 seconds

AND 👆 costs twenty billion dollars per episode

and costs twenty billion dollars per episode

#INTERSEX TALK MORE NOW AND PLEASE LISTEN

youtube with ublock origin experience of the 20 second gap between every video on a playlist where youtube desperately throws itself against the impervious ever-evolving uncaring face of the adblocker's wall screaming and clawing and calling PLEASE! PLEASE, OUR AD REVENUE!! DON'T YOU WANT TO SUPPORT THIS CREATOR? DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT OUR WALLETS? AND THEIRS? into the vast and empty sky before the adblocker gently raises one of its many iron-banded arms and flicks youtube away into the void just to hear its wails fade slowly into nothing

It's funny when I get the "You seem to be experiencing interruptions. Find out why" popup as if two unskippable 30-second ads wouldn't feel way more intrusive and annoying than a slight delay for a video to start.

worst part of being an adult is how often youre forced to nag. you Have to be annoying or youre never getting anything done. which is unfortunate considering how common it is to teach kids to never nag and be annoying ever

a professional i am paying money doesnt show up w zero communication and IM the one who has to feel guilty for having to call him and ask whats going on. because when i was a little kid i would get yelled at for nagging. joke world

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again