it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

Ngl if I had a plasma pistol I'd be forgetting to charge it all the time and letting it overheat and shit. Yeah just leave it on the dashboard in a hot car on a 40° day fuck it. What could go wrong?

Lowkey I bet it felt good as fuuuuuuck to be one of the coal miners that got to blow a pinkertons brains out from a high ridge with a bolt action rifle.

honestly having a brother is a lot like just knowing some guy

If you stay awake long enough you unlock a secret new type of thinking it’s called bad and unhealthy I think it’s gonna be huge one day

there should be an emoji that’s a person with their hands behind their back silently observing a situation

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich