every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing
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@fictionalvoid
every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

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I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad
Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay
oooh... you touch my tralala... oooh... my [melancholy harp riff] plin plin plon
there should be a second pride month in fall or winter for people who have heat intolerance. no other reason.

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depressed at 11 was crazy i should have become a child prodigy
The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.
mfs be like i live like a prisoner of war and i'm fine
The core appeal of Willy Wonka is that he's a nigh-omnipotent maniac who uses his near limitless powers over reality to trick shitty people into killing themselves. You can't make him the protagonist of a whimsical coming of age tale - you have to treat him like Jason Voorhees, or Dracula, or any other horror icon. Give him some new victims and new interesting kills and set him loose, that's all audiences want.
I feel like I watched a somewhat different movie...
Gene lobbied hard for Wonka to be introduced as a feeble limping old man who suddenly falls into a forward somersault and leaps to his feet, because "from that moment on the audience won't know if he can be trusted." On a related note: the director told Gene what would happen during the boat scene, but none of the other actors were prepared; to this day, none of them are sure what he ad libbed and what was scripted.
My favorite detail, though, is his performance of Pure Imagination. On the surface, the song is charming and inviting, but if you look closely at him throughout the scene, you'll notice that Gene never blinks. He looks around, down at his feet, up at the trees; his eyes never fully close. He moves erratically, stuttering up and down the steps of the chocolate room. The lyrics are warm and friendly, but his face is blank. He bows to permit his visitors to run amok, but his posture is stiff. He helps Violet and Mike reach a couple of treats, but there is no joy in the gesture. The final post-chorus feels like a dirge, a threat, and a warning, all at once; Wonka sits in repose under a tree, but his eyes are glassy and dispassionate. "There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination; / living there / you'll be free / if you truly / wish / to be.......... "
Fantasy in excess, like anything else, will destroy you; that's the real message of Gene Wilder's Wonka. He taunts his guests with unrepentant disdain, and doesn't care if they live or die. He toys with their emotions, their safety, and their grip on reality, feeling no regret or remorse, no pity, no compassion. Fantasy is colorful and compelling, but it's false, and ultimately empty. Wonka is a walking maladaptive daydream, and as far as I'm concerned, that's the real reason the 1971 film has endured in the culture for so long.
why do people think victorian orphans were like. the peak of sheltered pure innocence
"imagine feeding mountain dew to a victorian orphan" they'd probably appreciate the pick-me-up before their shift as junior osha violator at the accident factory
"imagine showing a victorian orphan vtubers" they'd say "this is boring i wanna watch public executions"
#that victorian orphan works as a chimblysweep to buy lifesaving medical cocaine and chloroform for his sister and yall dont even smoke weed
🎶Y'all don't even smoke weed! Orphan trauma!🎵

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there are literally worse things than being in a saw trap like for instance openly expressing that you have wants and needs and are a real person
since the 2004 spongebob squarepants movie can be considered a retelling of the odyssey, this means that the climax, in which spongebob returns to the krusty krab to fight off the mind controlled bikini bottom denizens and sings goofy goober rock, can be considered a retelling of the scene in which odysseus slaughters penelope’s suitors.
Pulitzer Prize type shit
Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot
Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot
they should make a version of socializing that doesn’t make you feel like you’re still the weird 12 year old kid that doesn’t know why she’s not normal like the other kids

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"The sculpture in the image is “Das Schicksal” (Fate), created in 1905 by Hugo Lederer. The sculpture portrays fate as a ruthless woman dragging two vulnerable bodies by their hair.
The work is currently located in Ohlsdorf Cemetery in Hamburg, Germany."
from @dustseasons on instagram .
BORING! BANAL! PREDICTABLE! CLICHÉ! AND WORST OF ALL… PROFOUNDLY UNCHIC!