Rum, Omlettes, and an Open Desert

BREAKING: German Expressionism Night at Citi Field has been canceled after player complaints that the large, abstract set-pieces and haunted, gloomy-looking actors were obstructing play. Czech New Wave Night is still set for next week, though Mets players and fans have now been advised in advance to be aware of any extended metaphors for interwar Europe that may occur between innings.

I love when a character wants to be someone's dog so so bad. Dont mean it in a sexual way (although that can also be a part of it) I mean like. Let me be your loyal companion let me stay by your side give me a purpose in exchange for endless unconditional love let me stop being a person love me like it's my only use. Love me like that's the only thing I was made for. As you can tell. I'm normal.

I see that and raise you: when the object of that devotion wants None Of That, the very idea of it is morally and viscerally repulsive, they want a friendship of equals or nothing and they are perfectly content with nothing.

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

me putting the little tag back on the bread bag

*Louis Armstrong voice* And I think to myself 😏 what the actual fuck? 😌

Professionalism sucks I wanna put "😭😭" in my emails.