Get Out Of My House

Okay, so apparently other people associate black gloves with normal jobs and I accidentally hosted my own impromptu Pervert Reveal Party in front of god and everybody via Beanie Baby post. Awesome.

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

"christian characters in movies are poorly written because the writers are atheist" "atheist characters in movies are poorly written because the writers are christian" stop fighting. all human experience is poorly written in movies because the writers are californian

It is implied through gameplay mechanics that the two kingdoms at war in chess both formally permit regnal polygamy, allowing the King to take at least nine wives of equal status, and that marriage can be bestowed as a military honour, but curiously that honour - in stark contrast to the conventional attitudes of the aristocracy - can only be bestowed upon soldiers of the unlanded class, leaving great questions to be asked of the material interests and stability of these kingdoms' aristocracies

also, their horses lack limbs & their castles are small

yknow the smallness of the castles is FAR from their most interesting distinction from the noticeably immobile ones we are familiar with

IDrank abunch now im ready to party! Anyone gay

My dad has worked in construction is whole life, primarily with a company that does concrete foundations, and I immediately sent him this back when I first found it on TikTok, and he IMMEDIATELY shared it with everyone he worked with. They apparently still quote it on his job sites to this day.

fuck. i love my own blog. it’s almost like it’s full of things i would post it’s crazy

Hello my name is Dr hotdog. And I'm a woman.

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.